Standing up to bullying, at an age that's already hard

A workshop at Highland Park Junior High taught St. Paul students to reflect on actions and have empathy for peers.

By EMILY JOHNS, Star Tribune

Last update: May 23, 2009 - 9:25 PM

Very few people loved going to junior high.

Kids are going through puberty, which can be challenging, and many are struggling to find their way after the cocoon of an elementary school classroom. And students can be just plain mean to one another.

Last week, about 200 students in the St. Paul public schools gathered at Highland Park Junior High to learn more about the perils of bullying.

The district got a scholarship to bring in Stu Cabe, who runs an anti-bullying program called "4Word Momentum." It aims to get students to understand the power of their words and actions to others, and to feel empathy for those around them.

"Bullying, that's usually how drama starts," said P.D. Vang, a seventh-grader at Highland Park.

"Yeah," added classmate Bria Virnig, "like sometimes there are people who were your friends in sixth grade, and now they just think they're bigger and better than everyone."

On Saturday, Gov. Tim Pawlenty vetoed a bill that would have required school boards adopt measures to address various harassment scenarios, including those using the Internet. It would have applied to students, teachers, administrators and other school employees, and employees would have to be trained on preventing and responding to bullying.

In his veto message, Pawlenty said that bullying was a serious issue and he supported the goals of the bill, but that existing laws and rules already forbid bullying and harassing behavior.

'Think twice'

In the Highland Park gym on Wednesday, Cabe asked students how many of them use the phrase "That's so gay" when they think something is dumb.

The room erupted in laughter, until he suggested that he substitute names for other groups for the "gay" description: "Would you say, 'That's so Mexican?'" he said, as the students booed. "What about, 'That's so Asian?' "

According to the 2007 Minnesota Student Survey, 52 percent of sixth-grade boys and 57 percent of sixth-grade girls in the St. Paul public schools reported being bullied in the past 30 days.

Half of both sixth-grade boys and girls reported having bullied others in the same time period.

Students at Highland Park say that bullying at their school isn't worse than any other, but it still needs to be addressed.

"Too many kids are affected by it," said S. Lee Gonzales, an eighth-grader who is on the school's leadership team and who helped with the anti-bullying program. "I've always been against people using the word 'retard,' or saying 'That's so gay,' things like that."

Teaching kids about bullying, or having training about it, should help, he said. "It's teaching kids to think twice before they open their mouth and say something that can hurt someone else."

Classmate Jeanie Yang agreed.

"Basically, it will just show kids that if you make fun of someone, it says more about who you are," she said.

Kids need courage to help

Counselor Elisabeth Mulvaney, who brought Cabe to Highland Park, said the school already has anti-bullying programs in place. Among them is an "Out for Equity" program that the district runs. It advocates for school environments that value diversity and works to reduce harassment of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender students. The school also participates in "No Name-Calling Week."

As junior high counselors, Mulvaney said, "Usually we deal with the real hard-core issues, taking up all of our time with 2 to 3 percent of the students. [Anti-bullying programs] are a great way to reach a large number of kids. At this age, it's all about identity and belonging, and the idea that 'if you're not one of us, then you're one of them.' "

Getting kids to think about bullying could even give kids the courage to step up and say something if they see it going on, Gonzales said.

"Teachers aren't there all the time," he said. "We are."

Emily Johns • 612-673-7460

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