This blog covers everything except sports and gardening, unless we find a really good link about using dead professional bowlers for mulch. The author is a StarTribune columnist, has been passing off fiction and hyperbole as insight since 1997, has run his own website since the Jurassic era of AOL, and was online when today’s college sophomores were a year away from being born. So get off his lawn.
Never can say goodbye, as the song says. But not this song. Well, it does, but not in the way of that other song.
May I suggest this is a Minnesota female thing. Guys have no trouble getting up and going. If you’re with someone who lingers at the door for another ten minutes of chitchat, though, you build this into the schedule; if you want to leave by ten, you try to move everyone to the staging area at 9:50.
ART Digital art by Andy Warhol has been discovered on ancient floppy disks, and they’re just what you’d expect. From the article:
Warhol’s Amiga experiments were the products of a commission by Commodore International to demonstrate the graphic arts capabilities of the Amiga 1000 personal computer. Created by Warhol on prototype Amiga hardware in his unmistakable visual style, the recovered images reveal an early exploration of the visual potential of software imaging tools, and show new ways in which the preeminent American artist of the 20th century was years ahead of his time.
Preeminent American artist of the 20th century.
SCREEN Good news from the AV Club:
Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon are back for a second helping of The Trip, the 2011 BBC miniseries-turned-film in which the two comedians play themselves, traveling across England together. The characters are ostensibly on the road to review restaurants, but that flimsy setup is merely an excuse for the actors to bicker, one-up each other, and trade impressions (most notably their dueling Michael Caines).
This will her the one that finally makes Coogan a star in America! Kidding. Should happen, though, Brydon too. Speaking of English comics who made it big in the States: Ricky Gervais’ “Derek,” done for Netflix, made it to England, and the Guardian hates it. I liked it, but found Gervais the least interesting part; it’s worth it for Karl Pilkington and the sad scuzzy 80s guy.
MINNOW REDUX Sit right down and I’ll tell a tale:
Five castaways on a desert island off the coast of Queensland, Australia, scrawled out SOS in a nearby sandbar after their boat drifted out to sea Monday.
About nine hours later a rescue helicopter — sent out to find the lost vessel's crew — spotted the cry for help in the sand and saved the marooned group.
The happiest person to see the helicopter was the one who was in charge of Not Letting the Boat Drift Out to Sea.
WHY? McDonald’s has updated Ronald’s look, according to USA Today:
The question is why they need to keep him around at all. Do they think people who stop going to McDonald’s if they phased out a mascot who is loved by absolutely no one whatsoever?
VotD Just another Russian dash cam video.
Had you going for a second, didn't it.
Not just an 80s electro-pop album title. It’s the old dilemma: can you enjoy art once you learn the artist’s opinions, or discover what an utter cad he was? Let’s say an architect wrote this in 1938:
"The decline in fertility, so far as scientists have been able to discover, is unique in the history of the white race. In short, the United States of America is committing race suicide.”
And let’s say that architect’s name s on the IDS center, because it is.
Matt Novak pointed out Philip Johnson’s Nazi past at Paleofuture:
Johnson visited Germany in the 1930s at the invitation of the government's Propaganda Ministry. He wrote numerous articles for far right publications. He started a fascist organization called the Gray Shirts in the United States. He was with the Nazis when they invaded Poland and wrote about how it wasn't as bad as the American press was making it out to be. He was an ardent supporter of the notoriously anti-semitic Father Coughlin. And he was so in the tank for the Nazis that the FBI even suspected him of being a spy.
"You simply could not fail to be caught up in the excitement of it," Johnson would tell an interviewer about attending a 1932 Hitler rally in Potsdam, Germany. "...by the marching songs, by the crescendo and climax of the whole thing, as Hitler came on at last to harangue the crowd.”
Hilarity did not result in the comments, but it's a good summary of the arguments for keeping these facts in mind as well as setting them aside.
Here’s how the IDS Center’s biography of Johnson puts it:
During the Great Depression, Johnson resigned his post at MoMA to try his hand at journalism and agrarian populist politics. His enthusiasm centered on the critique of the liberal welfare state, whose “failure” seemed to be much in evidence during the 1930s. As a correspondent, Johnson observed the Nuremberg Rallies in Germany and covered the invasion of Poland in 1939. The invasion proved the breaking point in Johnson’s interest in journalism or politics – he returned to enlist in the US Army.
JUSTICE Your honor, we would like to instruct the jury to disregard the defendant’s neck:
A murder suspect who has the word "murder" tattooed on his neck is hoping to have the tattoo removed as he fears it will prejudice him in front of a jury.
WEB This Daily Dot piece on “the Reddit Power user who helped bring down r/technology” has a graf that reminds you of things one might want left out of an obituary:
By 2011, Maxwellhill’s diligence paid off. He was proclaimed one of the most viral people of 2011 by Gizmodo and was the first redditor to collect more than one million karma points through Reddit’s gamified voting system, which rewards users for providing the community with popular content and which is completely useless in the real world.
Also on the world of personal accomplishments, from Vice: THIS GUY IS TRYING TO COLLECT EVERY SINGLE CPY OF THE MOVIE ‘SPEED’ ON VHS.”
Ryan Beitz owns over 500 copies of the movie Speed on VHS. He also owns 26 laser discs of the film, but those aren’t part of the collection. He just holds onto them so he can use them as bargaining chips to get more on VHS. His goal is a simple one: To collect every copy of Speed on VHS ever made. His other goal? To trick out his 15-passenger van to look just like the bus in the movie.
So you’d say the World Speed Project is awesome?
I think the World Speed Project is awesome in the truest sense of the word. It's larger than life. Imagine all of them in one place! It’s uncompromising.
Yeah, it’s like a radical dedication to uselessness.
Totally. I don’t give a (bleep) whether what I do is practical or not; I just don’t want to perpetuate society’s (bleepy) capitalism forever. If you see everything needs a use or an instrumental value as like part of a capitalistic worldview, then the World Speed Project is anti-that.
Now go out there and not see things as needing an instrumental value. But only after you watch this:
VotD Your Russian dashcam footage of the day gives us a motorist who decides to do something about a drunk driver.
The driver appears to freeze, like some small creature that plays dead to escape predation.
A bit of Minneapolis history revealed: let’s all goggle at an old exposed brick wall!
It’s part of this 510 Marquette, which suffered the worst modernization of any building in Minneapolis.
It’s the interior wall, not the old exterior. All the classical details were scraped off and disposed here and there; two of the columns ended up at the MoZaic’s art park. Where they were before I can’t possibly imagine.
It was a Cass Gilbert building, the first Federal Reserve. Even before they plopped a tower atop the building, it was a forbidding thing.
From the newspaper the week it opened: Not even the Beagle Boys dared crack it!
Can’t find any pictures of what it’ll look like when it’s finished. It can’t be worse.
BTW: A commenter on the UrbanMSP forum makes an interesting suggestion:
If the Strib moved in, they could re-clad the first few floors of this with the exterior of the old Strib Building. I think it would actually match up fairly well.
That would be . . . unnerving.
In reality, "Boy with Apple" isn't a centuries-old masterpiece by a Czech painter. It was created just two years ago by the acclaimed English painter Michael Taylor. Fortunately, the real-life origin story of "Boy with Apple" is just as interesting as the one presented in The Grand Budapest Hotel. To get the full story on "Boy with Apple," The Week reached out to Michael Taylor and Ed Munro, the boy who served as the model for the painting.
The painter said Wes Anderson provided “a lot of input — particularly paintings by Bronzino, Holbein, Cranach; all sorts of stuff.” You can see the Cranach in the kid’s hand.
Related: Another lost silent film turns up in a closet. It’s this:
That was 91 years ago. The movie is “Love, life and Laughter, starring Betty Balfour, and it’s one of the British Film Institute’s 75 missing films. Well, 74 to go.
The article also has a complete copy of the movie’s ad campaign booklet, which ultra-20 images such as this: Betty did a comedy for that noted master of hilarity, Alfred Hitchcock. The entire film survives, and the print quality is remarkably good. Here’s half a minute from 1928. Even in a comedy he made the audience jump.
WRAPPED IN PLASTIC AV Club reports that Laura Palmer’s parting words are coming true:.
When Laura Palmer cryptically told Agent Dale Cooper “I’ll see you again in 25 years” in the final episode of Twin Peaks, she wasn’t talking about Twitter. Or was she? As of March 25, “1989,” a group of Twitter users operating under the banner of Enter The Lodge have taken it upon themselves to give Twin Peaks a third season.
VotD The page says “Flour Power,” but knowing Russia, it’s probably asbestos.
"The Walking Dead Finale was Brutal, Shocking and Heartbreaking," says i09. Agreed for the most part; not sure about “heartbreaking.” You have to feel bad for the gang; things would have worked out better, you suspect, if they weren’t in a TV show that needed a season finale. Comment that may be a spoiler at the absolute end of this piece, below the video. So you’ve been warned.
MPLS From the Strib archives, an old view of a bygone Minneapolis corner. Can you identify it? Don’t worry. It’s an obscure and forgotten building.
Can you find it in this picture?
Lower left-hand side. The building was the National, which was torn down for the two-tower skyscraper first known as the Pillsbury Building. Note the absence of electronics on top of the Northwestern Bell building, and the utter filth begriming City Hall. Now let’s look at the billboards:
The great age of conspicuous whiskey ads. Kentucky Tavern. Still made. Can you identify the other ads? Computer, enhance!
Both brands are still around, too. Now, in the background:
A national brand: this ran in Life magazine, at the peak of the company’s popularity:
For a while, the largest supplier of blankets in the country. The factory moved away and the building sat empty for decades, but it’s lofts now. The sign must have been a landmark for a while, lit at nigh. We need more of those.
Speaking of ancient civilizations: Here are 10 that history forgot. The Zapotec structure is particularly surprising: huge and intact. Then there’s this: “Europe’s biggest prehistoric civilization, the Vinca, existed for nearly 1,500 years. Beginning in the 55th century B.C., they occupied land throughout Serbia and Romania.”
55th century BC. There’s bygones, and there’s bygones.
In more recent history: technological advances in uncovering Roman graffiti.
More than 1,600 years after the Romans fled this cold, damp island for the warm south, their secrets are still emerging, thanks to a new technique called Reflectance Transformation Imaging, or RTI. By firing a flash gun at worn-away ancient graffiti from dozens of different angles and photographing it, suddenly the ancient world comes to life. It's a related technique to seeing inscriptions just before sunset, when the letters fall into shadow. Thanks to RTI, new Latin inscriptions have emerged at Hadrian's Wall, and Greek ones on Athenian pots.
Don’t miss the Latin-based pedantry in the comments; smart and amusing.
In related news: “Assyrian stele containing ancient curse will not be reunited with its other half.” Not until Ghostbusters 3, anyway. Which isn’t going to happen. Anyway, here's the curse:
Whoever discards this image from the presence of Salmanu puts it into another place, whether he throws it into water or covers it with earth or brings and places it into a taboo house where it is inaccessible, may the god Salmanu, the great lord, overthrow his sovereignty; may his name and his seed disappear in the land; may he live in a contingent together with the slave women of his land.”
So says the curse. More here, if you’re wondering where the two halves are and why they won’t be joined together again. Who was Salmanu? Wikipedia will tell you:
Salmanu was king of Moab during the reign of the Assyrian king Tiglath-Pileser III (ruled 745–727 BCE). He is mentioned in a clay inscription found in Nimrud as a vassal of Assyria. Eberhard Schrader theorized that he might be identical with the Shalman who waged war on Israel and sacked Beth-arbel (Hosea x. 14); though other scholars identify Shalman with one of the Assyrian kings named Shalmaneser.
It’s amazing we know these things, really. It makes you marvel at the amount of likewise information we’ll never know.
HMM Redditor spotted a map of Minnesota on the map of Minnesota. The Google one, that is:
Votd Tired of car dashcams? Let’s look at a Tramcam.
Now, for no reason, Weird Al has a problem with his hotel door chain.
Okay, WALKING DEAD POSSIBLE SPOILER:
1. Terminus is creepy because it has things written on the wall in a room full of candles. It seemed like a lot of candles, no? At some point I think the point's been made, and it seems like quite a lot of work. Maybe they all do it together and sing a song. If you're creepy and you know it light a match!
2. It takes a steely, determined leader to find himself stripped of weapons, heavily outnumbered, chased by sniper fire and locked in a hot train car to say "they're screwing with the wrong people." Or one who's completely delusional. At least we have a new bad guy who, we can be assured, will be gutted and brain-spiked at some point in season 5.
Always something to look forward to on this show.
If you regard a computer as nothing more than a box that can get you on Facebook to check out videos of cats jumping up and falling off tables, then this will seem very silly. If you can name every computer you ever owned like some people remember cars (“I had a Quadra 660 A/V tricked out with a passive telephony GeoPort modem; that baby could do zero to 300 baud in seven seconds”) then you will understand.
First Tech’s a long-time Apple computer store in Uptown, and they’re closing their doors. When I read the news I thought: got my first Mac there. Fred sold it to me 28 years ago. What are the chances he’s still there?
Walked into the store with a yellowed Mac Plus from the Reagan years, and got some looks: Bringing in a 1986 computer and asking if it can be fixed is a bit like requesting brain surgery for a parakeet. It was rather pathetic; it’s like bringing your kid to the pediatrician’s retirement party, except no one says “look how you’ve grown up! What do you have now, 64 GB of RAM?”
Anyway, there was Fred. I took a picture of the computer he sold me back in the Reagan years.
More computing power in the phone that took the picture than the computer the phone that took the picture.
PS: title of the blog post comes from a customer Fred recalled as the Best Famous Person to enter the store: Douglas Adams.
SWEET, SWEET JUSTICE Hysteria over violent video games is bipartisan folly; the California law that put a $1,000 fine if you distributed a shoot-‘em-up without the proper sticker was signed by Arnie (R); when SCOTUS slapped it down a California Democratic who sponsored the bill trotted out this response:
California State Sen. Leland Yee, who sponsored the original bill, said today's ruling "put the interests of corporate America before the interests of our children.”
"As a result of their decision, Wal-Mart and the video game industry will continue to make billions of dollars at the expense of our kids' mental health and the safety of our community," Yee continued. "It is simply wrong that the video game industry can be allowed to put their profit margins over the rights of parents and the well-being of children."
Leaving aside the rote boilerplate outrage, it’s amusing to note that Mr. Yee is this guy:
State Sen. Leland Yee (D-San Francisco) and 19 other defendants appeared in court this afternoon to confront charges against them ranging from racketeering, gun-trafficking, and murder for hire.
The defendants -- including Keith Jackson, a San Francisco political consultant, and Raymond "Shrimp Boy" Chow, a longtime Chinatown gangster -- all arrived in civilian clothes while shackled at the wrist and waist. By 3:30 p.m., only 12 of the defendants, including Jackson and Chow, had appeared before the judge to hear the charges against them. Yee, who as a legislator cracked down on guns, is now being charged with gun trafficking himself.
Everyone's noting his anti-gun stance, but the anti-video-game fulminations are just as delicious, especially since he has now become a character from Grand Theft Auto.
Votd Title: “Redneck Road Rage / Instant Karma.”
I think he was giving her the finger because she was holding her phone incorrectly.
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