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Thanks to your ideas and comments and criticisms, the Daddy-O blog continues to evolve into a meaningful forum for Minnesota parents and families. Please keep the interest and the feedback coming in 2013, and I'll do my best to explore the thorny and compelling issues that mean the most to you. By a loose measure of emails and social media referrals, here are some of the blog posts in 2012 that gained the most reader attention and response.

1. Dying girl receives video from favorite band before she passes. The boy band Big Time Rush tried to comfort one of its biggest fans with a video and chat before she died of cancer.
2. How to make election night 2012 fun for your kids. My favorite idea was filling up glasses with proportionate blue or red M&Ms when states were called for Obama or Romney.
3. The good side of social media for your kids. Parents were apparently relieved that all of that "liking" and "tweeting" wasn't a total loss.
4. Loppet Foundation's novel youth ski program. There are so few minorities in the sport of CC skiing. This program provides the transportation, equipment and fun to change that.
5. MN pediatricians take stance on gay marriage amendment. Readers debated whether it was appropriate for this influential group to step in a thorny political issue.
6. The trouble with teens and diabetes. It is a delicate challenge for parents to turn over crucial dietary and medication roles to diabetic teens.
7. Mayo consult service to cut harmful psychotropic drugs to kids. The fear that children are being over-medicated -- and this novel solution -- drew interest from readers nationally.
8. The unpopular but crucial role of representing abusive parents. Child abusers might engender scorn, but giving them proper lawyers in court is part of the solution to preventing further harm.
9. Can courts prevent parents from having more kids? An interesting debate pitting concerns about judicial overreach with concerns about irresponsible parents.

Media coverage of the American Academy of Pediatrics' new recommendation in favor of school recess glossed over one of the more intriguing proposals (to me, anyway) -- that recess never be withhold from students as discipline.

The position paper, released Monday, is based on a wealth of evidence showing that recess provides a much-needed mental break so that students can focus better when they are in class. The evidence also shows that recess is a rare opportunity for students to test decision-making and social skills -- though it also is a breeding ground for bullying if adult supervision is poor -- and that taking it away can have negative consequences.

"Ironically, minimizing or eliminating recess may be counterproductive to academic achievement, as a growing body of evidence suggests that recess promotes not only physical health and social development but also cognitive performance ... On the basis of an abundance of scientific studies, withholding recess for punitive or academic reasons would seem to be counterproductive to the intended outcomes and may have unintended consequences in relation to a child’s acquisition of important life skills."

On the other hand, the threat of taking away recess is an effective disciplinary tool for teachers, especially those challenged with large class sizes. So I checked with a couple local principals to gain their perspective on this recommendation.

Donna Montgomery of Hopkins' Gatewood Elementary School said she agrees with the AAP recommendation in general and that her teachers favor sending their children out for recess so they can have some classroom prep time. But she also noted that "students must be in the classroom to learn. Taking away the opportunity for recess is much preferred over a school suspension."

The withholding of recess is only an occasional consequence in her school.

"When they make poor decisions on the playground, such as being overly physical or hurting others, we keep them in the office for a day or two," she said in an email. "This might apply to three or four students in a month."

The authors of the new Pediatrics statement recommended that schools and researchers examine alternative forms of discipline that could effectively replace the withholding of recess.

 

The "I Am Adam Lanza's Mother" column should be required reading for community leaders trying to understand how a tragedy like the Sandy Hook killings could have happened and how to prevent future massacres. The column is by a mother in Idaho who fears her mentally ill young boy and worries about a treatment system that seems to be pushing him toward violence and incarceration in order to obtain comprehensive mental health care.

It's one of the most succinct, honest tellings of a refrain you've probably heard before -- that the U.S. mental health system is failing many children with sad and sometimes dangerous consequences. Last year, Kathy Swanson detailed the many ways that the mental health system failed her son, Michael, before he eventually stole his parents car, drove to Iowa, and killed two convenience store clerks at random on Nov. 15, 2010.

"He should have been in a mental health facility when this whole thing happened," Kathy Swanson said in the article. "It just makes me sick."

One of the things that startled me in the Idaho mother's column is the abundance of source material at her disposal.

"I am sharing this story because I am Adam Lanza’s mother," she wrote. "I am Dylan Klebold’s and Eric Harris’s mother. I am James Holmes’s mother. I am Jared Loughner’s mother. I am Seung-Hui Cho’s mother. And these boys—and their mothers—need help. In the wake of another horrific national tragedy, it’s easy to talk about guns. But it’s time to talk about mental illness."

The Columbine school sheeting. The Aurora theater shooting. The Tucson shooting that killed six and injured a congresswoman. The Virginia Tech shooting.

The mother didn't even need to mention the example of Swanson and the convenience store killings. Or the Red Lake high school shootings in 2005. Or the Omaha mall shootings in 2007. Or the Northern Illinois college campus shootings in 2008. But all of those tragedies also involved young male killers for whom medication and mental health treatment had either been inadequate or had failed.

"It’s time for a meaningful, nation-wide conversation about mental health," the mother wrote. "That’s the only way our nation can ever truly heal."

Minnesota Education Commissioner Brenda Cassellius offered the following guidance regarding the school shooting news and how to discuss it with children. The text below is her recommended letter from school principals to parents.

As you are aware, there was a shooting at a school in Connecticut on December 14, 2012. Because the incident happened in an elementary school, this may be of very great concern to all students and their families.

 

We wanted you to know what we have done at this school to address this event. But first we have some suggestion for you as you help your children and youth cope during this stressful time. 

 

Adult’s Role: Try to be calm, reassuring, and focused for the children. Parents and guardians need to get the support they need from other adults so they are able to effectively guide the children. Talk about family and community values, communication, and treating each other in a caring way. 

 

Talk and Listen: Find out what the children’s fears and concerns are and address them as directly and calmly as possible. Reassure them that you, extended family members, and other adults are here to help and protect. Give children time to talk, follow their lead – when they are ready to return to their regular routine, let them. If they have further concerns, they will probably come back to talk. Let them know they can talk at any time. 

 

Create a Safe Home Environment: Turn off the TV. Constant images, strong emotions, and reports of the shooting are not helpful at this time. If you need to watch the news, do so after the children have gone to bed. If teenage children want to watch the news, make sure that you are with them to help process the information and images. 

 

Keep to bedtime routine. A good antidote to stress is sleep. Children need reassurance at bedtime. Read to them, keep family faith traditions, and allow nightlights and hall lights to stay on. Some children may want extra assurance. Lying down with children, especially young ones, or sitting in a youth’s room until they fall asleep may be helpful. 

 

Use Your Resources: Community resources are available to you and your families to help you talk to children include counselors, members of the faith community, public health and sexual assault and domestic abuse programs. 

 

Start the Discussion: Here are some remarks that might help you start a discussion with your children about today’s events. Use whatever is comfortable for you. 

 

“What has happened today is horrifying, and our hearts and brains are having a hard time taking it all in. What we know at this point is: (give facts, as you know them.)”

 

“When scary things happen, it is important to take a big breath or whatever it is you do to help calm down. Pay attention to the facts. Be careful not to spread rumors.” 

 

Be careful to avoid dramatizing the drama – try to calm yourself and others instead of fanning the excitement.

 

“It is still important for you and me to be able to express our feelings and share our thoughts and concerns. Do you want to talk about what has happened? We can talk whenever you want.”

 

Possible Discussion Questions:

ü What have you heard about the shootings?

ü How are you feeling about what happened?

ü Is anyone you know worried about this happening at your school? How can we help that person?

ü How did what you heard or saw affect you?

ü Who are your friends, supporters and resources for help?

ü How can you be a friend or peacemaker to other students and adults in this family, neighborhood, or school?

 

At this school, we have taken the following steps: (fill in which details of your efforts regarding classroom discussions, security steps and attention to routine, review of the school wide crisis plan.)

 

We are concerned about the safety of all of the children in our community. We must be careful, as we talk to our children that the violent acts do not carry over to the way we treat each other. Adults must role model tolerance and care for all children. If you have any questions or concerns, please call us. 

 

Thursday's story on gains in child health and well-being included some references to The Loppet Foundation and its after-school ski clubs for urban middle-schoolers. But my article really didn't do justice to this novel approach and the way it links urban kids and minorities to a sport they might not otherwise attempt.

It was fun seeing one of their practices Wednesday and seeing kids like Kristopher Cubias Lennon, 12, take to the sport so enthusiastically. I think the guy could already beat me in a sprint.

"You want to have a race?" he yelled at his coach, Jon Miller.

"Not quite ready yet," said Miller, who was digging through a ski bag for poles for another skier.

"OK. Whenever," the kid replied, and then sped off. "I'll be skiing here alllllll day."

Photos by the Star Tribune's Richard Tsong-Taatarii

Through corporate and philanthropic donations, The Loppet Foundation provides ski equipment and jackets to students at Minneapolis area schools. Just as importantly, the program in its second year now provides a van ride to and from school -- removing the prohibitive barrier of transportation for some kids. In the summer, the program organizes canoe and mountain bike activities for the youth.

Given the racial disparities that exist when it comes to youth health in Minnesota, the program certainly seems on point. Ligarius Munn, a 14-year-old in 7th grade, told me the program was the only thing standing between him and zoning out watching TV at home after school. I laughed.

"No, I'm serious," he said. "I'd just go home and watch TV."

Children who are homeless or moving from home to home face longer odds when it comes to succeeding in school, but studies from the University of Minnesota have identified two key ways to help them overcome the obstacles of their living situations.

A review of 18,000 students in the Minneapolis Public Schools found achievement gaps in the first grade, with homeless children being more at risk than other children living in poverty. But solid reading skills offered a protective effect for homeless children. Higher reading scores in 1st grade predicted more academic success for these children by 3rd grade and 8th grade -- despite all of the potential barriers to success created by their homelessness.

"While early reading skills are clearly important for the later achievement of all students," said U of M researcher Janette Herbers, "they are even more important for the success of students whose future achievement is threatened by homelessness and extreme poverty."

A study of 138 five- and six-year-old children living in emergency family shelters in 2008 and 2009 found that children with better "executive function skills" had easier transitions to school and did better academically. The term refers to one's general level of attention, memory and self-control.

U of M researcher Ann Masten said it was important to confirm the link between executive function and academic success for homeless children, because researchers can now develop shelter preschools programs that focus on boosting executive function skills. Masten is collaborating with local shelter leaders to develop just such a program.

Daniel Gumnit of the People Serving People family shelter in Minneapolis said this kind of preschool approach is critical. "If we are serious about breaking the cycle of poverty for homeless and highly mobile children," he said, "we must focus on their executive functioning skills and emotional resiliency."

The two U of M studies were published in a special edition of the trade journal Educational Researcher.