This blog covers everything except sports and gardening, unless we find a really good link about using dead professional bowlers for mulch. The author is a StarTribune columnist, has been passing off fiction and hyperbole as insight since 1997, has run his own website since the Jurassic era of AOL, and was online when today’s college sophomores were a year away from being born. So get off his lawn.
It can, and it does. What am I talking about? We'll get to that. First, some news in the paper today made me think of this:
I'd just scanned that for a site about downtown Minneapolis; Can you identify it? Good. Gold star. Now name this restaurant, shown elsewhere on the postcard:
Answers at the bottom.
NOT THE ONION You’d be forgiven for thinking it was.
Former McGruff the Crime Dog actor, John R. Morales, has been sentenced to 16 years in prison following his guilty plea three years after police seized 1,000 marijuana plants, 27 weapons – including a grenade launcher, and 9,000 rounds of ammunition from his home.
To be fair, I don’t think he was all the McGruffs, any more than all the Ronald McDonalds were Willard Scott.
TECH The tablet is dead! All you people using a tablet during the day, put it down and move along with your lives. Tablets are over.
The tablet couldn’t possibly shoulder all the expectations people had for it. Not a replacement for your laptop or phone — but kinda. Something you kick back with in the living room, fire up at work and also carry with you everywhere — sort of. Yes, tablets have sold in large numbers, but rather than being a constant companion, like we envisioned, most tablets today sit idle on coffee tables and nightstands. Simply put, our love for them is dying.
Translation: the author uses his tablet less than he used to, and from this extrapolates broad trends so undeniable he feels confident in using the first-person plural. To continue:
Cue the sad music for the tablet we all loved, and that many still do. Except now as I glance over at my original iPad, iPad mini, Kindle Fire and Motorola Xoom, acting like paperweights, I realize I don’t miss them — especially when I am curled up with my five-inch phone fitting comfortably in one hand. Love is harsh, the pace of technology innovation is harsher, but the future certainly does look phabulous.
Prose is hard, the skill of writing good prose is harder, but the future will never embrace the word “phabulous,” let along “phablet.” The very word looks obese. As for the dying part, I use my tablet more than ever. Reading magazines on smaller devices is impossible; watching movies on an iPad mini on the plane is much better than squinting at a big phone. But if you like larger phones, so be it; I don't know why these things bother people, or they feel compelled to brand their own preference proof you're doing it wrong. Or will be doing it less. Or something.
VotD he problem with labeling everything “iconic” is summed up perfectly in this 30-second spot: the Sistine Chapel and “Reservoir Dogs” are grouped together for the most simplistic reasons. On the other hand, it’s pretty cool. One continuous take.
ANSWERS The striped building, of course, was the Radisson, which A) suffered a regrettable modernization that gave it pinkish stripes, and B) was in the news today to announce that everything is going swimmingly with the chain. As for this:
It’s the logo for the old Brothers Deli chain. There’s still one downtown, and its website says: “Mike and Dora Burstein opened Mike's Cafe in 1935. In 1959, Mike's sons Leonard and Sam moved Mike's Cafe to 19 South 7th Street and renamed it the Brothers Deli. Leonard and Sam soon made the Brothers a successful chain, at one time including 16 restaurants around Minnesota and North Dakota.” That’s the 7th street restaurant above.
One last video, just for fun. People are gloating over this, because they find the runners irritating. Uproxx cites "hubris and condescending windbaggery."
So, here you go: today's Internet People Served Up for Pointing and Judging.
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