This blog covers everything except sports and gardening, unless we find a really good link about using dead professional bowlers for mulch. The author is a StarTribune columnist, has been passing off fiction and hyperbole as insight since 1997, has run his own website since the Jurassic era of AOL, and was online when today’s college sophomores were a year away from being born. So get off his lawn.

Here come the Tundra Roaches

Posted by: James Lileks under Weather Updated: December 9, 2013 - 12:31 PM

It’s supposed to be 3 today, and it’s 3. Thank heavens it’s not 2. Can’t take 2 after the last few days. Hey, at least the cold means we don’t have a bug problem.

Yet. From Atlantic Cities:

Cold temperatures are supposed to provide us a reprieve from cockroaches. As explained in this cockroach FAQ from the biology department at UMass Amherst, the insects can die of cold shock and so often spend the winter hibernating.

UNTIL NOW. 

The squeamish are advised not to click here or pictures of the giant cold-resistent cockroaches. Because you will be squeamed.

ICY ROADS Many spin-outs today, the news says. Should you get stuck, remember the lessons of this dash cam video from - where else? - Russia.

NEWS FROM HELL One of the gangsters who runs North Korea was purged by evil little Boy Gangster. The stories all quote the North Korean news agency, so I went there for the straight story, such as it was. All Korean. I ran it through Google translate, and was rather surprised:

 Automata nuper jipgwonja CONTRASCRIBA attornatus Generalis , Secretarius Salus et humani cultus qui constitutus est sapor , minor ad maiorem . Dictator maybe superba rudes , non tamen est a re publica thug

So the Korean news agency is just pumping out lorem ipsur? No; I had it set on Latin by mistake. Still, I like the phrase “Dictator maybe superb rudes.” Usually the case. So let’s reset to English:

 Puppets were recently jipgwonja Comptroller , the Attorney General , the Secretary of Health and Human Services who was appointed to enforce insipid . Dictator maybe arrogant rude behavior is not a thug politics.

I give up. Let’s go to the BBC to see what the guy was accused of going:

"Chang pretended to uphold the party and leader but was engrossed in such factional acts as dreaming different dreams and involving himself in double-dealing behind the scenes.”

It’s a window into the Nork political culture: you can be purged for improper dreaming. Even Winston Smith didn’t have to worry about that. He was also . . .

denounced for leading what it called "a dissolute and depraved life”. "Ideologically sick and extremely idle and easy-going, he used drugs and squandered foreign currency at casinos while he was receiving medical treatment in a foreign country under the care of the party," the KCNA report said.

It added that he had "improper relations" with several women and "was wined and dined at back parlours of deluxe restaurants”.

That last one seems like piling on. Well, you may think the guy’s dead, and that’s possible, but he’s been purged before. Reuters notes:

Jang is married to Kim's aunt, the daughter of the North's founding leader Kim Il Sung, and was widely considered to be working to ensure his nephew firmly established his grip on power in the past two years.

Thanks for the help, unc.

CLICKBAIT There’s a science to these headlines, supposedly. The promise of a treat, a mystery soon resolved, a piece of knowledge you can pass along and share. Atlantic explains here how it works. But I’m getting to the point where anything like this . . .

. . . makes me say No. Because it’s cheap Upworthy-style manipulation. On the other hand, I did click on this:

. . . because I expected to read the crowd was doused with thick oil. No, just the usual soccer riot.

TIME-WASTER An ingenious animated banner for a website. Roll over and see what happens. Don’t forget the blue and red buttons. (Via Cartoon Brew.)

VIDEO Thanks to the internet, you are now aware of the aggressive nature of a cat in Azerbaijan.

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