This blog covers everything except sports and gardening, unless we find a really good link about using dead professional bowlers for mulch. The author is a StarTribune columnist, has been passing off fiction and hyperbole as insight since 1997, has run his own website since the Jurassic era of AOL, and was online when today’s college sophomores were a year away from being born. So get off his lawn.

I don't care how weird your trick is.

Posted by: James Lileks under Gripes, Technology Updated: October 16, 2013 - 1:00 PM

There is a site I will never visit again because it has an ad for t0en@il fungus treatment. I’ve no idea which word or link on the page summoned the ad from the Stygian depths of the ad network’s server, but I never want to see that picture again. What’s worse: if I’d called up the site on a mobile device, it’s possible I would have hit the ad by mistake, and that would have told the ad network that I really, really wanted to be followed around for the next two weeks on the internet with hideous pictures of diseased feet.

You can, of course, clean your cache and clear your cookies - which sounds like something R. Lee Ermey would shout as he walked through Programmer Bootcamp at reveille, banging his baton on the inside of a trash can. Or a euphemism for the regrettable result of a night of reveries. Then you get ads that have nothing to do with your interests, and you feel like the internet just doesn’t know you anymore. I’m not sure which is better or worse. I’ve been on the fence about those vacuum-packing machines for a while, and I actually appreciate the reminder. Likewise the cruise ship ads. I prefer them to seeing something about One Weird Trick to avoid excessive heel calluses. Anything that uses the phrase “Weird Trick” I discount at once. There’s a radio ad that promises to teach me a “Weird Trick” to maximize Social Security benefits. How? What’s weird about it? Is tincture of fox gland and eye of newt involved? Stop it.

GEEK Flossie has a new home.

One of the first mass-produced business computers has been rescued from the scrapheap for the third time in its 50-year history. The ICT 1301, also known as Flossie, has just arrived for storage at The National Museum of Computing where plans are being made to bring it back to life and put it on display when space permits.

The huge machine, weighing 5.5 tons and with a footprint of about 6 metres by 7 metres, arrived in three container lorries at TNMOC's new storage facility in Milton Keynes.

The flat slab in your pocket is more powerful.

I love old computer promotional photos. From the StarTribune archives:

No idea what the machine is, but I can hear the clacking of the keys, and remember how much it took to work those keyboards. People had stronger fingers back then, I think. All this swiping and pinching has weakened us, and made us vulnerable to takeover by foreign elements.

YOU THERE You! Yes you! Here’s today’s assumptions about YOU:

You are a hoarder, and it’s a problem.

You probably hide it well — there are no rooms with old newspapers stacked to the ceilings, and no freezers full of dead cats — but your phone’s home screen, which is quickly and eerily becoming one of the most telling expressions of one’s true personality, gives you away. It’s a mess, and so are you.

The article goes on to tell YOU to remove every app from your smartphone, then put back the ones you need. Really. Or rather YOU don’t say.

As if the use of YOU in headlines wasn’t bad enough, the phrase “You guys” is starting to appear as well. As in "You Guys, Cockroach-Farming is Totally the Industry of the Future." While this is slightly less stupid then "So you guys, Cockroach Farming is a Thing Now" it's another example of adults who can vote, drink, and fight for their country willingly sounding like 12-year-old girls BECAUSE INTERNET. So we’re all supposed to be Rita Moreno now, I guess.

VIDEO Not that this is an argument for or against streetcars. Not that it’s even relevant to the subject of streetcars.

The Louts’ Code of Honor demands that they get out and upbraid the aggressor, but you can tell their heart really isn’t in it.

I also found some footage of the Philippine earthquake’s effect on a swimming pool, but got sidetracked thinking about the word temblor. Why do we use the word to mean Earthquake? What we want to say is “trembler,” right? Right. What’s “temblor”? Spanish for “Trembling.” If we all started saying “trembler” and looked askance at people who insisted it was “temblor,” we could change the language in ten years. So get on that.

Also in video today:

Medieval Land Fun-time World: bad lip-reading of the Game of Thrones. There! Bad font choice, but I'm done criticizing everything now. 

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