This blog covers everything except sports and gardening, unless we find a really good link about using dead professional bowlers for mulch. The author is a StarTribune columnist, has been passing off fiction and hyperbole as insight since 1997, has run his own website since the Jurassic era of AOL, and was online when today’s college sophomores were a year away from being born. So get off his lawn.
Eleven percent of everyone on the internet has put up a video, according to this Strib article. This now includes Larry King, who just did StarbucksDrakeHands for everyone in the world. This HuffPo roundup has other people doing StarbucksDrakeHands, and includes the ooky original. It’s a perfect example of a meme that isn’t really funny, but notable because other people are doing it. There should be a washed-up celeb whose participation in these things officially signals the end of the meme. It’s not Larry.
Yes, I'd love to include the Larry King Drakehands in this post, but embedding Instagram video is making the software fall down and hit its head on a corner of the table today.
TRADITION And so it begins: you knew it was only a matter of time before Black Friday leaked into every possible aspect of Thursday evening. People get bored sitting around the house digesting things. The best football’s over. It’s been hours since the plastic was slapped on the counter and a new bauble or garment was obtained. Well:
Macy's is breaking a 155 year old tradition of staying closed on Thanksgiving.
This year it will open some of its stores at 8:00 pm on the holiday.
The change will reportedly only effect locations in New York and Chicago.
Not here. Not yet. Give them a year.
BTW, when I first clicked the link I got a huge ad that showered paper on the screen, then tried to sell me a scanning app for the iPhone. It got my attention. It ended, as most of these things do, with click-to-dismiss. You have to look around for the little X-in-the-circle. Imagine being unable to continue reading a magazine until you’d punched a hole in the corner of the page with the X-in-the-circle. This is why magazine advertising is the best: it doesn’t fling itself at your head like the Alien facehuggers. It sits there inviting you to peruse, to study, to consider.
And then there’s those ads that lurk under innocent words, waiting to strike. You’re reading a story about, oh, ocelots, and the word “home” is underlined twice. Your mouse moves over it, and BANG its an ad, sometimes with video, for a mortgage. The most hated ads on the internet. Those little double-blue links are the equivalent of a biohazard logo.
UH . . . If ever you forget that BuzzFeed is written for children who can legally drink by children who can legally drink, it’ll remind you:
There’s also a list of phrases “Americans should keep to themselves,” written by a Brit; it consists of telling people in another country that their vernacular sounds odd to people from other cultures. Really. “Sneakers” should not be used, because we’re not Sneaking. But I’m with him on “Because ______” As in “Because feelings” or “Because reasons.” I’m just waiting for the day when someone who graduates from the BuzzFeed bullpen tries to get a job writing things longer than 17 words, and has a portfolio that consists of stories along the lines of “32 Pugs Who Totally Nailed Monday Because Pugs.”
ARCHITORTURE Demolition of the Prentice Women’s Hospital in Chicago began last week. There was wailing and gnashing and rending of garments, because it’s . . . iconic. It may be, for some; for others, it looks like the buildings used in movie to show a dystopian future.
Chicago preservationists are also seeking to save this structure , although I think most people would prefer we’d saved the cars. The exterior looks ordinary and oddly proportioned, but the shot of the interior banking hall is gorgeous. The modernism of this era dates well. The modernism of the later 60s and 70s has no, partly because they look like they were made possibly by a grand from the American Concrete Council.
The Guyon Building. Its history can be found here, and it’s a fascinating time capsule.
The Hotel Guyon was the brainchild of J. Louis Guyon, a French-Canadian dance instructor and promoter who made his reputation and fortune with Guyon's Paradise, a nightclub with a 4,000-person dance floor in the rooming-house district. (The Daily News archive has a photo of people thronging Guyon's, as well as Mr. and Mrs. Guyon). But it was no mere ballroom. It was "the most conservative ballroom in Chicago": no Charleston allowed there, nor even the one-step or the fox trot.
Because morals, as BuzzFeed might say.
Across the street, something no one will ever lift a finger to preserve.
It’s an old White Tower, a White-Castle competitor now forgotten. (Well, there’s one left.) This style spread throughout the country, and was a mainstay of the streets of big cities. You want iconic? That design said BURGERS to people in the 20s just as the Golden Arches do today.
VIDEO Finally, this. The driver suffered a broken arm.
About 1:01 is when the policeman who’s banging on the window is glad to have a partner.
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