This blog covers everything except sports and gardening, unless we find a really good link about using dead professional bowlers for mulch. The author is a StarTribune columnist, has been passing off fiction and hyperbole as insight since 1997, has run his own website since the Jurassic era of AOL, and was online when today’s college sophomores were a year away from being born. So get off his lawn.

Bigger than Bond?

Posted by: James Lileks under Architecture, Gripes, Restaurants Updated: October 8, 2013 - 12:34 PM

In a word, no. But first: 

COMICS Nice little nod to Hopper - and by “nod” I mean “obvious parody” - in Mr. Boffo today:

Brings to mind this: a search for the real location of “Nighthawks.” The best recreation of the painting was in “Pennies from Heaven,” which also did another Hopper scene in a movie theater. Extraordinary art direction. No one loved the movie, though; it was incredibly depressing, and people really expected Steve Martin to be, you know, funny. If you listen to Martin’s old comedy routines, you can understand why he went in another direction. There’s a live performance from the peak of his stand-up fame, and it’s nothing but catch-phrases tossed out like fish to a stadium of seals. He mentions “King Tut” and the roof comes off the joint. He’s a smart guy. He knew he was doing a parody of an insincere performer, and had become a parody of a guy doing a parody of an insincere performer. But I’m babbling now.

ARCHITORTURE From one of those sites that seems to have no reason to exist, a list of the world’s “40 Weirdest Buildings.” The descriptions are . . . rather rote. “In Lithuania, Kaunas is the second largest city. This amazing and weird building is built in this city.” For London City Hall: “This building name is City Hall which is situated in London.” Nailed it! This one is called “Anomaly.”

Description: “Did you ever see a building which looks like a basket? No, then see this building picture.” Oh, come on. A little research, please. That’s the Longaberger Company HQ. They make baskets. Saddest part of the wikipedia entry: “Originally, Dave Longaberger wanted all of the Longaberger buildings to be shaped like baskets, but only the headquarters was completed at the time of his death. After his death, further basket-shaped buildings were vetoed by his daughters.”

There’s also an upside-down White-House-type structure in Tennessee, called Wonderworks. (“Wonderworks are an entertainment place where person can enjoy.”) That reminded me of the upside-down White House in the Wisconsin Dells. Didn’t make the list.

I dare you to explain #38. Go ahead. (Also, #40 is a duplicate of #11. Doubt they thought anyone would get that far down.)

MOVIES You heard it here first! From a press release that was, of course, FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE. (Confession: I waited a few days.)

The market is going wild as rumours abound of a revolutionary new A list, high budget, motion picture trilogy about to be launched, set to be bigger than any series of movies we have seen so far in the motion picture industry.

This trilogy, based upon The Sacred Quest trilogy of books by A K Luthienne, leads into a series of seven more movies directly following these three as part of an overall series of writing of creative genius.

One of the longest standing, well respected, leading global buyers of major motion pictures and adviser to theatrical has said "We are looking at a motion picture franchise set to exceed even that of the James Bond movie franchise". 

It appears there is just a tiny window of opportunity in which to secure an equity stake in these movies as bidders from across Asia. Middle East and USA look to secure their share of a bankable phenomenon. Indeed the Producers, Lone Star Storyworld Media, are finalising bids during first half of October. 

Never heard of any of it. Googled; the books’ website comes up, with this description:

An unhappily married woman stumbles upon a dark secret in an ancient castle that unleashes her mystical lover and her deadliest enemy. This propels her onto a thrilling quest to fulfill her destiny, following a mysterious trail of clues left across the ages. Through a strange language, ceremonial magic and age-old mythologies, our two heroes must break free of a tyrannical enslaving system to reunite across time and space and finish what they once began. In this spectacular, timeless love story, these two alchemists must unlock the magic behind creation to reclaim their destiny and change the fate of the world.

A tyrannical enslaving system, you say? Intriguing. As for the “overall series of writing of creative genius” intended to span 10 movies which will be bigger than James Bond, we’ll see. The total worldwide gross of the Bond movies is $6.1 billion. Which is a good excuse to post this GIF, trending today on Giphy! 

Note: “Lone Star Storyworld Media” is a project of the books’ author. Searches for “sacred quest” on Deadline.com and Variety come up with zilch. Well, stay tuned. 

Meanwhile, no one’s lining up to do a theatrical release of 3D IMAX Russian Dashcam footage. Seems to me it’s begging to be made:

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