This blog covers everything except sports and gardening, unless we find a really good link about using dead professional bowlers for mulch. The author is a StarTribune columnist, has been passing off fiction and hyperbole as insight since 1997, has run his own website since the Jurassic era of AOL, and was online when today’s college sophomores were a year away from being born. So get off his lawn.

O cruel Nature

Posted by: James Lileks under Gripes, Outstate, Technology Updated: October 4, 2013 - 12:31 PM

Omen-wise, this does not reassure one about the winter of late 2013. It is snowing in Spearfish. How much? Well:

It it snows here before November, the mood in February is going to be just lethal.

YUM Chicken nuggets are mostly chicken. Just not “chicken” as you think about it. Turns out they use other parts. The nerve! No, literally:

. . . half muscle, with the rest a mix of fat, blood vessels and nerves. Close inspection revealed cells that line the skin and internal organs of the bird, the authors write in the American Journal of Medicine.

More here. Unless you’re having variety-meat fowl nodules for lunch.

TRASH ICON The more Miley Cyrus continues to exist in her current state, looking like a public service ad for stroke prevention programs, the better; the more stupid she looks, the more amusement accumulates, and the swifter she makes the transition to Carrot Top status, universally mocked. Anyway, Sinead O’Connor wrote her a letter imploring her to be careful with her public image, and Miley responded with photos that showed just how much she took it to heart:

Take that, ya washed-up skinhead! I'm young and incredible, and can't imaginethat could ever change! 

That’s the cropped version. In the full version she’s pointing to a pop can strategically placed in the groinal area. Here’s another shot in the sequence:

Yes, when looking for someone to follow you around and snap “candid” photos, always look for someone who resembles Woody Allen’s more pervy younger brother. The best thing you can say is something you wished you never had to: at least she brushed her tongue.

The images are from the tumblr of Terry Richardson, and you can google it if you wish. Links not wise for work.

GHOST TRAIN There’s a ghost train in my neighborhood; we hear the mournful horn once every other month. No tracks anywhere. Oh, I don’t really think it’s an ectoplasmic engine prowling the streets where the rails once existed, wailing from beyond the grave to warn its ghostly engineer not to take the bridge. Obviously, it exists. Here’s another “Ghost Train,” from Vice, although it’s looking more like a prank:

During Monday rush hour this week, a Blue Line train that was scheduled for repairs did a very mysterious thing: it took off without a conductor on board. After quietly and slowly maneuvering its way around the curves of the Forest Park train yard after being parked there for a week, the rogue machine passed through the Forest Park station, headed eastbound on a westbound track and climbed a hill before ramming into another train at Harlem station and injuring 30 people. The media is calling it “the ghost train” and investigators are completely baffled.

They do suspect “hackers,” though. Those darned kids who have too much time on their hands, an absence of conscience, and the lack of fear of consequences that comes from doing things in front of a screen with no obsevable, immediate real-world effect on your own room. People in the comments aren’t buying it, though: we all know there’s a Dead Man’s Switch on trains. Right? Well, ever since the Malbone Wreck of ’18, it’s been standard on most rapid transit systems. More about that wreck here - rookie motorman took a corner at 30 MPH instead of the recommended speed, which was 6 MPH. Or less. Ninety-three people died.

If you get bored with people being internet know-it-alls about trains, headover to Buzzfeed’s discussion on the shooting of Miriam Carey, where the ownership of a Facebook account turns people into law-enforcement experts. If that’s not enough, head over to NBC news, which is reporting that Carey thought she was being stalked by the President. Anyone weighing in on the matter?

2,453 comments! What a fascinating, useful, enlightning conversation that must be. Let’s see how it starts.

There. Any desire to read more? No. By the way, remember the first rule of breaking news: Trust Nothing.

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