This has a payoff that's all better for the element of surprise and the quantity of incompetence that preceded it. Look in the upper-middle area to find the scooter-driver who collided with a car, then follow the worst minute of his life.

It is critical that you watch to the very end.

YOU THERE I hate to keep banging this gong - well, not really; I rather enjoy it - but this grates on me almost as much as LOL, Today's utterly irritating second-person headline is from the Daily Dot: 9 Foods you're totally eating wrong. As if they know. "Nine Clever Ways to Eat Food" would suffice, no? When did the internet become such a bossy clod?

Ever since the rise of the phrase "You're doing it wrong," that's when. That was nine years ago, according to knowyourmeme.com:

Google Trends notes that the phrase started to take off in 2007.

So now YOU know.

SO YOU'RE READING A BLOG POST Recall those Simpsons episodes in which someone reads a pamphlet, and it's titled "So You're Going to Become Morbidly Obese," or something like that. I think there was one in the waiting room in "Beetlejuice" - "So You're Dead," perhaps. There's a reason for the cliche: that's how pamphlets were titled.

It's an employee hand book from 1949. Or "employe," to use the curious spelling of the day. A sample from the section explaining how things work:

Bender's great-great-great (X100) grandtather, perhaps. Here's what really stuck out. Medical benefits were a bit simpler then.

A hundred bucks for a baby: that about covered it. There are various ways of calculating what $100 would be today, but this site suggests it's about $963. Which, today, would cover the cost of the paperwork for admission.