James Lileks: Fair's buses feel better without the pythons

By JAMES LILEKS, Star Tribune

Last update: September 6, 2009 - 7:58 AM

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As reported in this paper, the fair's Park 'n' Ride buses have not provided a fun 'n' happy experience for some this year. Instead of using Metro Transit buses, a private coach firm was hired; some complained of long waits, not enough buses and 12-foot-long snakes springing out from the restroom.

Note: I lied about the snakes. Don't you feel better about the buses already? When one comes along you'll think "these are the buses without the snakes," and the rest of the ride will just get better from there.

Having taken the Park 'n' Ride to the fair about 37 times this year, I can report a happy experience. Granted, one bus had no air conditioning, so it felt like you were trying to breathe congealed cooking odors through a clogged lint trap, but otherwise the buses were cool, plush and clean, the drivers were friendly and I never had to wait more than four minutes. MY anecdotal evidence trumps YOURS, and it also justifies my ideological preconceptions, so THERE. (I've just spared you the problem of reading 137 online comments.)

It's not as if Metro Transit doesn't have its problems -- a few years ago the queue at one stop looked like the women's bathroom line during a rock concert drum solo. A bus would lumber up, hiss, sigh, disgorge 60 souls and swallow 60 more, and the line would move forward a yard or two. A half-hour later, another bus. The crowd was ready to drag out the driver of the next one, commandeer the carriage and let people hang off the roof like something from a 1947 documentary about rural India.

The problem is Como Avenue. At peak traffic periods -- i.e., always -- the street is so clogged that a bus cannot move without climbing up over other cars, which violates the Driver's Code of Ethics. So either prepare for a wait, walk, bike, use a large, well-calibrated catapult or come early. You can always get a parking spot if you come early.

We recommend June.

jlileks@startribune.com • 612-673-7858 • More daily at www.startribune.com/buzz

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