Sex, lies and Lutheran pastor: Stripper accused of extortion

An exotic dancer from Moorhead, Minn., demanded thousands in hush money from a clergyman, according to the charges.

By PAUL WALSH, Star Tribune

Last update: July 8, 2009 - 12:23 PM

Three years into a relationship that started with him watching her dance and progressed to money for sex, the Rev. Mark Ostgarden contemplated a proposal from exotic dancer Bunny Byington.

How about the Lutheran pastor quit paying her and they consider their relationship an affair instead?

But it wouldn't be long before Byington's need for cash allegedly forced her to extort $7,000 from him in exchange for her concealing their escapades from his wife and church.

Now Ostgarden's 19 years as a Lutheran clergyman in Valley City, N.D., have come to a quick end after he felt forced to tell police in Moorhead, Minn., about 46-year-old Byington's extortion of money from him to keep quiet about their relationship.

He paid her the money in two installments this spring, slipping the cash under the door of Byington's Moorhead apartment. On June 5, Byington said she wanted still more money. When the pastor said he couldn't meet her demand, Byington made good on her threat and exposed the relationship to his wife and church.

She also sent the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America bishop a photo of the pastor on a bed wearing only his underwear and a T-shirt, according to charges filed against Byington last week in Clay County District Court.

Ostgarden, 52, resigned as associate pastor of Our Savior's Lutheran Church in Valley City, on June 5, the same day he called police about Byington.

"I know I've hurt a lot of friends and family," Ostgarden said in a phone interview Tuesday.

Despite the sex scandal, he said, he hopes to someday again be a faith leader for a church. "If I am able to get the right counseling and help, that's something I'd like to do," said Ostgarden, who grew up in Moorhead and attended Luther Seminary in St. Paul.

The Rev. Randall Schlecht, senior pastor for Our Savior's, said feelings among congregants at the 127-year-old church have "run from sadness to embarrassment to being stunned -- all of those."

Schlecht said he spoke with Ostgarden twice after word of the scandal surfaced, conveying that "he and his family are in our prayers."

Hoping for forgiveness

According to the charges, Ostgarden first contacted Byington about three years ago by answering an ad for an exotic dancer. He began seeing her at her home in Fargo for dance shows. Eventually, the pastor started paying Byington for sex.

In March, Byington said she wanted him to stop paying her and hoped they could consider their relationship an affair.

But on May 14, she told the pastor that he had to give her $6,000 for her to stay silent. About two weeks later, she demanded another $3,000, but he persuaded her to accept $1,000.

Six days later, the pastor went to police to report the extortion.

Ostgarden said Tuesday that church money was "absolutely not" used for the alleged payments.

He said he now hopes for "privacy for a family as we heal and work through this." Ostgarden and his wife have two adult children.

"With God's help, we continue, we move on and ask for forgiveness and grace," he said.

Paul Walsh • 612-673-4482

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