Continued: Hair stylists new line of defense against domestic violence

There's something about the salon chair -- as soon as clients sink into it and begin to relax, they start to spill every little detail of their lives.

"They open up to you and tell you things you would never believe they are telling you," said Jessica Bollingmo, an instructor at the Empire Beauty School in Eden Prairie.

Bollingmo and other beauty professionals across the Twin Cities metro area are hoping that the long-standing practice of gossiping with hair stylists could help women who are being abused, maybe even save their lives.

This month, Bollingmo's school was one of the first in the metro area to participate in a national program called Cut It Out, which trains stylists to recognize signs of domestic abuse. Advocates for battered women are using the training to create a new line of defense in the fight against domestic violence -- the stylists who see hundreds of women slide in and out of their chairs every year.

The training runs through a predictable list of problems that stylists should be on the lookout for -- bruises, cuts, burns -- while also highlighting that indicators of abuse may be more subtle -- an anxious tone from the client when her partner calls; concern over how her partner will react to a new hairstyle.

Kari Hitchcock, who does community education for the shelter Home Free in Plymouth, trains stylists through the Cut It Out program. When she heard about the program, she instantly saw the appeal and knew that Twin Cities women could benefit.

In the past few weeks, several high-profile deadly domestic abuse cases have reinforced the urgent need to seek help in abusive situations, Hitchcock said. At the recent training, the group of students gasped and began whispering among themselves when Hitchcock told them about the death of Natasha Waalen, a 28-year-old mother from Anoka whose boyfriend has been charged with beating her to death and staging a motorcycle accident to cover up her death. Waalen had talked about getting a restraining order and leaving the relationship days before she died.

"How do you get to the people who are actually working with these women?" asked Hitchcock. "It's really important that people do ask if they see bruises or think something is going on."

For some stylists, it's personal

The Empire Beauty Schools, a national chain with four locations in the metro area, are bringing the Cut It Out training to all of their students in Minnesota. Each location is also partnering with a shelter to host fundraisers and provide services and products for abused women.

The Cut It Out program grew out of a statewide initiative in Alabama that was started in 2001 by founder Dianne Mooney and the Women's Fund of Greater Birmingham. Soon after, Clairol Professional, the National Cosmetology Association and Southern Living At HOME created a partnership to take the training nationwide. Since then, almost 40,000 stylists have participated in the program.

"Our investment in breaking the cycle of violence has been tremendously rewarding as more and more salon professionals are becoming equipped with information and skills to recognize and refer clients to resources for help," Mooney said, in a statement recognizing the program's fifth anniversary this summer. "... During the past five years, many hundreds of victims have found safe haven thanks to a salon professional who has been educated by Cut It Out."

For the students at the Eden Prairie school, the hourlong training session was more than a lesson in how to look for cuts and bruises on their clients. Many students shared their own stories of being in abusive relationships or hearing from clients who admitted to being abused, but who weren't ready to leave their relationships.

"Before this class, I never would have thought twice about it," said Stacy Hoff, a recent Empire graduate. "Now I can see the things to pick out in the conversation -- if he's constantly calling, your client doesn't have any friends or they can't change their hair color."

Advocates and stylists say they have heard stories of salon professionals speaking up when they notice signs of abuse in clients. Bollingmo said that in her time as a stylist and instructor, she has likely encountered women who were in violent relationships but didn't notice the signs.

"I've run into clients who said, 'I can't cut my hair because my husband won't like it' and I never comprehended that it's probably going a little deeper," Bollingmo said. "I didn't have the awareness."

Hitchcock says battered women try to reach out more often than people realize. She relayed the story of a co-worker at the Home Free shelter who was in an abusive relationship almost 20 years ago. The woman's stylist finally spoke up after noticing that a patch of her hair had been ripped out.

"She didn't think anyone would notice, so she kind of played it off," Hitchcock said. "But sometimes that's just the little catalyst that sends someone in the right direction."

For the future stylists at Empire, the idea of confronting a client raised many questions: What if they get mad? What if they aren't ready to leave their partner?

Hitchcock said these are all scenarios that stylists should be prepared for, but they shouldn't stay silent if they have a legitimate concern.

"Some women are just waiting for someone to say something," she said.

Lora Pabst • 612-673-4628