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Continued: Lileks: Is this talk of the town train the best way to get to-and-fro?

  • Article by: JAMES LILEKS , Star Tribune
  • Last update: June 19, 2014 - 8:33 PM

Depends which one you’re on, I think. Winner: train — obviously.

• Train vs. matter disassembly-and-transportation device

Scientists say they’re closer than ever to transporting matter, but experiments so far seem to be limited to changing the quantum state of particles. Even if they invent it for people, I think more people prefer the train, because the worst that can happen is it’s delayed, whereas with teleportation there’s the chance you get reassembled on the other end and your hand is coming out of your forehead now. Not going to happen with your train-type situation. Winner: train

• Train vs. car, bike or bus

Haven’t really thought this one through, but I suppose it depends on what you like. Speed, cost, likelihood of showing up at the office sweaty, whatever. I just know this: “Green Line” doesn’t really sum up the experience of going from here to there. I suppose it’s OK for out-of-town folk who think, well, Green goes to the building where they make laws, and we want the airport, so we’d better stay off that one.

But it’s a train, and trains need names, like the Zephyr, the 20th Century, the City of New Orleans. No one’s saying we should call the Green Line the City of New Orleans, because you’re looking at a false-advertising suit. Green Line is like Terminal One, and we all know how soulless our airport names sound now.

How about the Lindbergh Limited? The Humphrey Trundler? If they ever decide to build the Southwest route, call it the Lazarus Line — after something else everyone thought was dead.

 

jlileks@startribune.com • 612-673-7858

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