Here are some warning signs your mortgage guy wasn't entirely legal.
• Accepted Monopoly money and gold-foil-covered chocolates at closing for the down payment.
• Would leave the closing every 10 minutes to wipe off the tanning beds in the next room.
• Used air quotes when asking if you had a "job."
• Let you use a stuffed animal to co-sign the loan.
• Gave you a loan below market interest rates based on nothing more than a phone call from the lender's CEO and concluded the closing by saying, "Nice to meet you, Senator."
• Asked if you would be interested in buying six other houses now, as long as we're here and we have the pens out and everything.
• Most telling sign your mortgage may not have been on the up and up: They lent you more money than you could ever pay back to buy a house you could not possibly afford.
Hah! Just kidding. That last one's perfectly legal.
jlileks@startribune.com • 612-673-7858 More daily at www.startribune.com/buzz.
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