The sesquicentennial begins not with a bang. It starts with a dud.

Cannons were fired in celebration when word arrived in St. Paul by riverboat that Minnesota had been accepted into the Union on May 11, 1858. But there will be no cannon fire today, the state's 150th birthday.

Why not? Because the Minnesota Department of Transportation building might collapse.

I kid you not.

The proud North Star State is hitting the Big 1-5-0 in such a condition of decrepitude that we have to make sure the party doesn't get too loud and bring down what remains standing.

It's like when you throw a birthday party for Ancient Aunt Ethel and warn the kids not to pop the balloons because she might keel over.

Minnesota might, too.

Today's muffled statehood observance -- already hampered by funding shortages and forced to share the spotlight with moms and walleyes -- will be even duller than planned. And a lot quieter.

Civil War reenactors who volunteered months ago to bring artillery to this afternoon's Capitol events have been told by state officials that they cannot fire off their replica cannons.

The reason is that the MnDOT headquarters, built for the state's centennial 50 years ago, has been so neglected that its granite facade is in danger of dropping 1,200-pound slabs on our heads.

"It's a safety issue," said Bernie Steele, facilities supervisor for the Capitol grounds. "We didn't want to take a chance that pieces might fall if we fire cannons."

The guns were silenced by the Risk Management Office of the state Department of Administration, which decided MnDOT is too shaky to count on, which is something Minnesotans have known for years.

Down in Cannon Falls, Col. William Colvill, the hero of Gettysburg who was going to carry the flag into the Capitol when it opened in 1905 but died the night before and became the first person to lie in state in the rotunda, is spinning in his grave.

Replica cannons were fired on the Capitol grounds as recently as May 1, 2007, in celebration of Liberty Day. But no cannonades are permitted this year, for Liberty Day or the sesquicentennial, which picks up pace next weekend (Mother's Day and the fishing opener are out of the way) with fireworks, a vintage aircraft flyover, the issuing of a postage stamp and other events.

The sad part is that our Birthday Bash will go without a proper salute to the heroes who distinguished our new state's name by taking valiant part in many of the Civil War's bloodiest battles. Reenactors from Shakopee and Red Wing who are bringing their cannons to the Capitol but can't show us how they belch when they are fired are taking that loss hard.

"This is crazy," said George Luskey, a retired Scott County sheriff's deputy who serves as recruiting sergeant for a group of reenactors who portray Battery I of the First U.S. Artillery. "This is the first time we've ever hauled our gun anywhere and not been allowed to fire.

"We thought about saying to heck with it. But we owe it to the memory of the Boys in Blue to at least be present."

Battery I fought beside the First Minnesota Infantry in many battles, including Gettysburg, where the First Minnesota entered into legend. Today, Battery I's reenactors will portray the First Minnesota Light Artillery, joined by reenactors from Red Wing representing the Second Minnesota Artillery.

Both batteries will display "Parrott guns," large wheeled field artillery pieces weighing about a ton, which were drawn by six horses and operated by teams of six to nine soldiers.

I've heard Parrotts screech before, and vouch that they are entertainingly loud, send out great plumes of smoke, make kids squeal and can sometimes set off car alarms. But the concussion from the 2-pound blank charges the guns use at demonstrations will not knock down a public building that is in good repair.

We need more of those.

Honoring the state's history

"We're very disappointed," said Bill Dalin, Battery I's first sergeant. "We wanted to be part of the celebration and honor the state's history."

"It boils down to nobody at the state would step up and say, 'Let 'em shoot,'" said Luskey. "No one would take responsibility if a brick falls."

Ain't it the truth?

Oh, well. There will be church bells at 3:30, when a wagon train from Cannon Falls is expected to reach the Capitol. I hear it might have arrived Thursday but was delayed due to congestion on the wagon trails and had to ford rivers where the bridges were out.

Let us pray the horses tread lightly as they pass MnDOT.

Happy birthday, Minnesota.

Shhh. Hold your breath.

Nick Coleman • ncoleman@startribune.com