Living in a world of bullies: One boy tells his story

  • Article by: Norman Draper , Star Tribune
  • Updated: May 3, 2001 - 11:00 PM
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Timothy Summers has an important message for the bullies of the world: Quit picking on kids like him.

Timothy is 10 years old. He's had all he can take of taunts, pushing, hitting and cruel tricks. His head has been slammed against a bus window. Paint has been poured on his clothes. His toys have been taken away. He's been the target of vicious sexually oriented remarks. He's been forced to eat sand and been sprayed with bug spray.

Timothy Summers, a fifth-grader, has been a target since kindergarten. He's fed up, and wants the world to know how it makes him feel.

"Sad," he said. "Mad. Bad."

The idea of going public came after the March school shooting in near San Diego. Timothy's mom, Kelly, has noted how often reports about school shootings mention that the shooters had been picked on.

"Every time something like that happens, we talk about it, and how the shooters could have handled that differently," Kelly Summers said. "I'm trying to drill it into his head, 'Don't ever do anything like that.' ... I think he knows it's not an option; he's really not violent."

Those talks led to a further conversation.

"We were talking about how we wish there was something we could do to help," Summers said. "We were talking about him just writing a letter to the editor about what he's going through. ... "

Other things were happening, too. The school has taken some steps to stop the bullying, but a meeting with Timothy's principal left Summers unconvinced that the problem was solved. And Timothy's attitude toward life in general took an alarming turn.

"He was starting to make comments like it sucked to be him, and that he hated his life; he wished he could die," his mom said. "It's pretty scary to hear that coming from your son."

In light of all this, Summers called the Star Tribune. She and Timothy's father, Tim White, weren't squeamish about Timothy's identity. Use his full name. Say where he goes to school; talk to the principal. Even photographs would be OK.

"I was a little apprehensive about that, and he said, 'No, Mom, I want everyone to see me,'" Summers said.

To the adult eye, Timothy looks like a typical fifth-grader. About average height, neither heavy nor thin. He has a 9-year-old brother and an 8-year-old sister, and neither of them gets bullied.

There have been a few problems, though. Timothy has attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, his mother said, which can make it tough to concentrate and control his impulses. As a result, he has to leave the classroom to take medicine, and sometimes to get extra help with math.

Still, it's not like a few years ago, when he would get carried away and have to be taken out of class. "He's just wound up," Summers said.

The disorder might make him a target. Or it could be the funny faces and weird noises he makes to try to stand out and win acceptance.

"He is trying really hard to get attention," Summers said. "I think sometimes he goes about it the wrong way."

Talking to a reporter, Timothy is a boy of few words. Often, his mother has to expand on his answers. But paraphrasing Timothy's own words, this is what his life is like:

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