As an office manager for a financial adviser, Malinda Erickson is well informed about financial planning topics and knows what to do to build wealth. But she hasn't practiced what her industry preaches.

Anytime she gets ahead financially, she's soon back to square one -- or worse off than before. Sometimes it's an unexpected car repair. Other times it's her own doing -- stopping at Target for basics but spending $100 or more in no time, buying pricey snacks or CDs.

"There are times when I say, 'You know what? I don't care if I have my last $20 in the bank, we're going out to dinner tonight. We're going to Denny's,' " the Coon Rapids resident says. "Then the debt and remorse kick in."

To help, the Star Tribune teamed Erickson, whose overspending landed her in bankruptcy six years ago, with Ruth Hayden, a financial expert who focuses on the emotional issues surrounding spending.

On a late-summer Saturday, Erickson sits on Hayden's porch-turned-office in her St. Paul bungalow. Hayden explains that overspending is a symptom of a problem rooted in money beliefs and actions witnessed throughout life.

Today's culture of readily available credit makes it easy for people to let their spending get out of control. Although many clients are eager to focus on the dollars and cents -- earnings, savings and bills -- Hayden starts with money beliefs, the client's emotions and feelings about money. She sums it up as "counting versus feeling."

Hayden asks Erickson about her financial situation when she was growing up.

Money wasn't discussed at home. Erickson learned about managing her finances by observing her single mom raising two daughters, never able to save, always struggling. Now a single mom herself after a recent divorce, "you are literally following in your life what you were taught," Hayden points out. Erickson says her main reason for wanting to fix her finances is her own daughters, Kayla, 14, and Madison, 6. She wants to teach them how to spend wisely and to save.

In order to change the money beliefs that influence her behavior, "we have to give the brain different words" to replace the ones that aren't working, Hayden says. "We need to come up with the language of what you wish you were taught." She calls the short phrase a "money mantra" and tells Erickson to say it "a zillion times"-- while walking to the car, sitting at work, even in the shower.

Erickson composes the simple phrase: "I can have what I need. I can have what I want."

Choosing the words "need" and "want" were intentional, serving as a reminder that Erickson should ask herself with each purchase whether she must have the item to survive, or if it is something she or her girls would like to have.

Hayden hopes the mantra will give Erickson just enough pause to realize when she doesn't really need and doesn't really want a purchase.

Hayden's tips:

Change money beliefs that don't help. Erickson has an all-or-nothing mentality when paying many bills: If she can't pay a full minimum payment on a credit card bill, she pays nothing. Whenever she has extra money she thinks, "I get ahead but I know it won't last." She uses the belief as an excuse to spend the money.

In reality though, there's never enough money to buy what she wants and to pay the bills. She's got $1,900 in credit card debt she hasn't paid since June and owes thousands to friends and family.

Carry cash. Hayden tells Erickson to put the debit card away and use only cash for anything besides bills. "When people spend cash, they're much more conscious and purposeful," Hayden explains.

Set up a money meeting. Hayden suggests that Erickson block off time to establish a weekly money meeting with herself. Currently, Erickson makes constant preventive glances at her bank account online to be sure a deposit is in or a bill clears. She complains that money thoughts fill her brain and consume her time.

Hayden hopes that by committing to her finances one hour a week, in an item on her calendar, Erickson won't obsess about it as much. "Money needs to have its proper place," Hayden says. Erickson picks Thursday nights.

Determined despite setbacks

Since the meeting with Hayden, Erickson says she often repeats her mantra, and it has helped her keep a few items out of her cart. Carrying cash, however, has proved to be difficult. It took about a month to comply, and she blamed the time it takes to get to an ATM. She was surprised by her resistance. "I guess I didn't realize how ingrained it becomes when you do things a certain way," she explains.

Habits, says Hayden, are like a rut in a road during a Minnesota winter -- "it's tough getting out of it and easy to slide back into it again."

Some recent pitfalls were not Erickson's fault. In mid-September, daughter Kayla's father lost his job, which delayed multiple child-support payments, creating a shortfall that left Erickson paying rent late once again.

But she knew it would be tough, and she compares changing financial behavior to joining a gym or dieting. "It's not something you do for a little while because you want to drop a couple of pounds. It becomes a lifestyle if you really want it to work."

Next: We'll check in with our Financial Fix-Up participants in a few weeks.

Kara McGuire • 612-673-7293 • Read Kara's blog: www.startribune.com/kablog • kara@startribune.com