1. HALF-PRICE WINE NIGHTS.

On their face, they sound like a bargain-hunter's dream: A Flowers Vineyard pinot noir-syrah blend for $50? Bring it on. But by discounting a steep 50 percent, aren't restaurateurs also telegraphing the message that diners are overpaying the other six evenings of the week? Speaking of lofty profit margins, do the math on a $3 Diet Coke sometime. Sheesh.

2. ONLINE NASTINESS.

The Web has opened up dining-out dialogue like nothing else, and that's a great thing. What's not so good? Commenting nastiness, usually by anonymous posters. After trashing away to their heart's content on Yelp, Urbanspoon, Chowhound and similar sites -- even when the restaurant deserves every dripping-with-acid word -- people of integrity should stop hiding behind "AntonEgoMpls" or some other snarky electronic appellation and affix their names -- yes, the ones embossed on their driver's license -- to their vitriol.

3. INCESSANT COPYCATTING.

Enough already with the molten chocolate cakes, or the sliders, or the flatbreads or the countless other been-there-ate-that dishes that have swept through restaurants from Hugo to Hastings. I beg you.

4. TIP JARS.

Let me see if I have this right: I'm supposed to fork over some coin because you bagged a few lemon bars? Or made a nonfat caramel brûlée latte? Don't you already draw a salary?

5. TUNING IN.

Twin Cities restaurants have become infinitely better looking during the past decade, with one exception: the annoying proliferation of television screens. My mother didn't allow her children to watch "The Partridge Family" while we were seated at the dinner table, and you know what? She was right.

6. CRANKING UP THE VOLUME.

When did deafening sound levels equal success in the ears and minds of restaurateurs?

7. LONG-WINDED SERVERS.

"Let me tell you about tonight's dessert," starts the chatty server, and off they go, delving into more detail than your physician employed during your most recent physical. "We start by preheating the oven to 350 degrees, then, using an electric mixer on medium-high speed. ... " Enough with the oratory already. Let Abraham Lincoln be the industry's guide; his history-changing Gettysburg Address clocked in around two minutes.

8. DESIGN-YOUR-OWN DISHES.

More and more menu real estate is being devoted to laundry lists of ingredients for build-your-own pastas, burgers, pizzas, salads and omelets. On one hand, it's a format that allows diners customize their meal. But on the other, doesn't it feel lazy? Aren't chefs supposed to be making these decisions, and imparting the flavor of their unique point of view?

9. C-MINUS WEBSITES.

A restaurant's website features a lame "sample menu," which suggests that the kitchen isn't entirely familiar with what it's currently serving. Or the posted menu is three or four iterations old. Or basic info, such as address or hours, requires enough clicks to induce a repetitive strain injury. Or the site takes forever to open due to a needlessly arty multimedia introduction. No, I don't need to hear the sound of sizzling steaks coming out of my Macbook, thank you.

10. THE SLOW, PAINFUL DEMISE OF FINE DINING.

Locally, the list of the dearly departed is long and tragic: Aquavit, Goodfellow's, D'Amico Cucina, Levain, Auriga, A Rebours, cafe un deux trois, Fugaise, Bayport Cookery; all bit the dust during the "aughts." Yes, our culture is becoming more and more casual, a trend reflected in the restaurant world. But the loss of these fine-dining establishments -- and their influence over our collective imaginations -- still hurts.