Withering Glance: Fun times at the fair (Maalox and all)

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Aretha Franklin performed at the State Fair Grandstand.

Photo: Kyndell Harkness, Star Tribune

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Rick Nelson and Claude Peck dispense unasked-for advice about clothing, etiquette, culture, relationships, grooming and more.

 

CP: That thing you did the other day at the State Fair?

 

RN: I’m going to need more than that.

 

CP: Where you ate 44 new foods while tweeting, judging, Instagramming and live-blogging?

 

RN: Ah, yes, the eight-hour Maalox Moment. I’m still trying to extricate the sodium from my system.

 

CP: I guess you were not podcasting or streaming video, but could you possibly have been on more media platforms? Did you have to purge a few times along the way? You know, to clear stomach space and simultaneously make a vivid State Fair memory?

 

RN: Let’s just say my new-foods-at-the-fair eat-a-thon is not for any card-carrying member of the Clean Plate Club. It’s more like a nibble, then on to the next. The worst part was making deadline, an eight-hour type-fest while I cleansed with Evian and watermelon.

 

CP: I remember accompanying you in years past. You would take one hypercritical bite, then I would inhale the rest. When it comes to sugar, grease, carbs and salt, I’m a regular Paula Deen.

 

RN: It’s all about pacing. Like when Netflix releases an entire season’s worth of “House of Cards,” and the temptation is to wallow in it. But, don’t. When was the last time you found yourself at the Great Minnesota Get-Together?

 

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