Withering Glance: Stuck in traffic with Mpls. blues again

  • Updated: May 10, 2013 - 11:49 AM

Photo: Richard Sennott, Star Tribune

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Rick Nelson and Claude Peck dispense unasked-for advice about clothing, etiquette, culture, relationships, grooming and more.


RN: I know that I shouldn’t be talking on my cell and driving. But inching along in traffic isn’t exactly what I’d call “driving.”


CP: What’s your license-plate number again? I fear I must report you to the State Patrol.


RN: Tattletale. I’ve spent the past 20 minutes crawling through several blocks of 9th Street in downtown Minneapolis. I’m fairly certain I’m going to miss the start of yoga class. Namaste, indeed.


CP: You think it’s bad now, just wait for summer. The DOT has just printed 75,000 new “Detour” signs, and plans to use every one of them.


RN: Thanks for the reminder, I think. I’ve just counted to six, as in the number of red lights I’ve waited through as I attempt to cross Marquette. Maddening. I propose that all mayoral candidates be required to direct rush-hour traffic before the election.


CP: Remember when gridlock was something that happened elsewhere, to city dwellers less fortunate? Hello.


RN: I’m this close to exiting my Ion and yelling unkind things at the dunderheads who pull into the intersection and stop, blocking the flow of oncoming traffic. Didn’t their driver’s-ed instructors teach them that that’s a no-no?


CP: Isn’t there some soothing Schubert you can play in the car? Going to yoga in your current mind-set may be ill-advised. Think you’ll make it?


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