Withering Glance: Men hate wearing ties. Knot.

By Rick Nelson and Claude Peck, Star Tribune

Last update: May 5, 2008 - 4:36 PM

Rick Nelson and Claude Peck dispense unasked-for advice about clothing, relationships, grooming and more.

RN: I've decided that I no longer can allow myself to be seen with you in public, as you are making me look like the world's biggest schlub, Mr. I Wear a Tie to the Office Four Days a Week.

CP: And look at the rapid advancement it has brought me, careerwise. Lots of stimulating meetings with upper-level types, all of them in a nice tie. Just like me. And my recent giant pay increase allows me to purchase still more ties.

RN: So you're living proof that a man's wardrobe is the key to his advancing salary. The bummer about ties is the good ones don't come cheap, and the cheap ones are just that, with the life expectancy of edible underwear. Still, it's fun to buy ties. Sometimes they're the only way a man can insert a little peacock into his wardrobe.

CP: When the skinnier ties came back I had to get a few, and that kickstarted the whole cravat thing. But wearing a tie to work takes longer, as I seem to require two or three knottings to achieve perfection.

RN: Have you ever been able to make sense of those inscrutable how-to-tie-a-tie diagrams that men's magazines occasionally publish? Once upon a time -- this was before I could tie a half-Windsor blindfolded -- I used to buy all my ties from a salesperson at Dayton's, but only if he would tie them for me. Could I have been a bigger freak? There I'd be on the sales floor, in my dress shirt, and he'd stand behind me and knot me up. That got a little weird.

CP: A little weird? Honestly, let's not dwell on it.

RN: So I should probably not bring up how I taught myself to tie a bow tie by practicing on my thigh.

CP: No.

RN: For me, a very occasional tie-wearer, half the fun of wearing one is gathering the stares they elicit from friends and co-workers, which only reinforce my feeling that I've turned into a major slob. A little well-knotted neckwear can really clean a guy up.

CP: Even if you're wearing jeans, a shirt and a jacket, a smart tie makes it look so much more finished, and your shirt collar isn't all collapsed or flattened under the jacket. Ties equal color, contrast, flair. Having to wear one daily for biz reasons, however, would turn pleasure into duty, as has happened with this column. Kidding.

RN: And here I thought we were having fun when we were accosting well-dressed men on Nicollet Mall last week, quizzing them on all things tie-related. What really stuck with me in that whole process was what the distinctly gorgeous Camie Keilen told us. Remember her? She was tagging along with one of our tie guys.

CP: She said, so listen up straight guys, that she always notices a guy's tie. And how it's tied. And whether it hangs to the correct level. For a change, this sartorial advice comes not from a pair of poodle-walkers. ...

RN: ... but from an obviously discerning woman. Take heed. A hot date could be just a Countess Mara away.

Click on W.G.'s weekly podcast at www.startribune.com/withering. E-mail W.G. at witheringglance@startribune.com.

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