Dear Amy: One of our children recently married into a large, close-knit, gregarious family. These folks spend all holidays together, vacation together and, although most of them live halfway across the country from our child and spouse, often hop on a plane and come for short visits.

They have welcomed our child with open arms, and our child has enthusiastically joined in all their activities.

My much smaller extended family, however, is far more independent and not in frequent contact. Even when my husband and I have tried to put together family reunions, our other children (and the few relatives we have) show no interest.

We are happy our child is now part of a warm, outgoing, loving family that places a priority on staying connected. But I am increasingly disappointed with my family. I am also jealous of our child's in-law family and its place in our child's life. I just don't know where to go with these feelings. I should be glad that our child has such a great relationship with these folks, but instead I just feel hurt.

Amy says: Don't misplace these feelings and blame your child's in-laws. All families are different, and it is unfortunate that despite your advocacy your family isn't interested in coming together.

I hope you will be welcomed into your child's in-law family, at least in a satisfyingly tangential way. Reach out to them when they are visiting. Invite them to your home and get to know them. I hope a nice friendship blossoms between you so that you benefit from their more gregarious and inclusive way of relating.

RSVP used to mean something

Dear Amy: My daughter and her boyfriend got married this past weekend. The ceremony was beautiful, and they worked very hard to make sure everything was just right. They also paid for the whole thing. Although it was low-key, there was still considerable expense.

What shocked me was the number of guests who responded that they would attend, but then didn't show up. I find it incredibly rude and feel that they owe her and her husband an apology. Outside of calling them out on Facebook or jokingly saying they'll get a bill for their portion of the food, I know there's nothing to be done. I just wonder if manners don't matter anymore. Your thoughts?

Amy says: Calling people out and joking about billing them is a terrible idea.

I don't know if this rudeness is a recent development, but younger people who have never been left holding the bag may not realize the impact of their choice. Most important, however, is the impact of this rudeness on friendships. Weddings, funerals and other milestone events are when you figure out who your real friends are.

Send questions via e-mail to Amy Dickinson at askamy@tribpub.com.