Dear Amy: I have had an especially horrible week.
I received a low performance appraisal at work, which blindsided me because I’m extremely dedicated to this hard (and, apparently, thankless) job.
The same day I logged on to Facebook to see that my boyfriend is in a relationship with someone else. After more than a decade together, this is how he voices his desire to “see other people.”
Then, one of my best friends declared she doesn’t want to be friends with me anymore because I’m friendly with a woman she dislikes. I’m not completely surprised — I was one of her few remaining friends — but I am hurt.
Oh, and I’m also turning 30. It’s supposed to be a huge milestone, but what do I have to celebrate? I’m a wreck! How do I even begin to get my life together?
Amy says: No question about it: Any one of the items on your “worst week” list could take down a rhino.
I prescribe giving yourself some time to self-medicate with soft-serve ice cream while binge watching “The Mindy Project.”
Then you should take another look at the one thing you can do something about: your job situation. It’s important to follow up on this job appraisal. Stay calm and focus on discovering what things you can do differently. A second look at your evaluation may yield information that you didn’t understand fully at the time. A mentor at work could help you strategize on how to turn things around.
Write yourself a mission statement. Turning 30 is the perfect time to take a long and broad look at your future. What are your larger dreams and goals? What is your vision? What is the big picture?
Every successful person has a “worst week” story, and many look back on these tough times as important turning points. Your worst week is in the past. What you choose to do next is the only important thing.
Eating an issue
Dear Amy: I’m a concerned uncle. My beloved 20-year-old niece “Molly” visited my family over a recent long weekend. Following her departure, my wife brought to my attention her suspicion that Molly was vomiting after eating.
She had no direct evidence, just the observation that she visited the bathroom following meals, seemed to linger and coughed after exiting. Molly is a normal weight but perhaps somewhat thinner than when we saw her last at Christmas.
She was careful about her eating and wanted to join me with my regular running regimen while she was here.
Please offer your advice on whether I should bring this to my sister’s (her mother’s) attention. My sister suffered from an eating disorder during her college years.
Amy says: Do not hesitate to talk to your sister about this.
Uncles and aunts are in a perfect position to offer loving but slightly objective observations to parents about how their kids seem to be doing.
Simply tell your sister, “We loved having ‘Molly’ with us. We are concerned that she might have been purging her meals while she was at our house. I wasn’t quite sure what to do but thought you would want to know.”