Ask Amy: Girlfriend wants a ring

Dear Amy: My boyfriend and I have been together since we were 16. We are now 22 and have graduated in our professional fields and are both working.

We moved in together last June. The trouble is I am ready to get engaged and married, and within three years I want to start to have children. He says he isn’t ready for any of that because he feels as though he’s still really young (and we are).

We recently went to a friend’s wedding, which brought up the tension in our relationship. We got into a huge fight. He said some things that he immediately regretted.

How do I speed up the process of getting that ring on my finger and carrying on with our life together?

Amy says: Please do not speed up the process. Your timetable matters, but mainly to you. His timetable matters the most to him. If he feels pushed to marry you before he is ready, this will likely come back to haunt both of you.

You must act on your own accord. It is reasonable for you to set a timetable for yourself where if your guy doesn’t show an inclination toward marriage or children, then you will have to move on. If you don’t want to live together without being married, then move out and live on your own. Couples counseling could bring some clarity for both of you.

Party manners need some work

Dear Amy: My sister-in-law is an executive at a local company. She prides herself in letting everyone know her position.

My husband and I hosted a small Super Bowl party. She was bored and started texting her co-worker/friend. Twenty minutes later her friend showed up at our house, stating this sister-in-law had invited her over. The two then conversed about work as if no one else was in the room.

My husband and I find this rude and inconsiderate. She’s used to running the show at her workplace, so I think she feels she is running the show at our house, too.

How can we stop her bad behavior before we just have to stop inviting her?

Amy says: You might not be able to stop your sister-in-law’s rude behavior. You can, however, let her know that this behavior bothers you. You or your husband should have a chat with her. All you need to say is: “On Super Bowl Sunday you spent the majority of your time at our house texting. Then you invited your friend to join us without asking. That’s not OK.”

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