A look inside the dating survival guide

  • Updated: July 21, 2013 - 2:00 PM

The following are excerpts from “The Complete Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating & Sex,” by David Borgenicht, Joshua Piven and Ben H. Winters (Chronicle Books).

How to survive running into your ex

Running into your ex at a party can be problematic for many reasons: lingering affection, pain over being dumped, unresolved emotions, passionate memories or poor selection of your current date.

• Do not avert your gaze. Look him/her in the eye and smile. Shying away from eye contact only diminishes your power. Keep someone’s gaze and you keep control.

• Be nice.

• Do not sit. Do not let yourself get stuck in a corner or on a couch with your ex. Remain standing and be ready to move.

• Take charge of the conversation. Start by mentioning something that you noticed earlier in the day. This keeps the dialogue fresh and superficial and in your control, and helps you to avoid complimenting or talking about the ex. Be upbeat — enthusiasm is a handy tool. Breezing by someone indicates you are not fazed or upset.

• Introduce your date and send clear signals that this is who you are with now. Touch your date as you converse with your ex, making it clear that you have moved on.

• Keep your conversation short and sweet. Tell your ex that you are “meeting friends,” but that it was nice to see him/her. Or, tug your date’s arm and say, “Oh, look, there’s Sally. I want you to meet her.”

• Move on.

How to dance on a bar

Seek out a bar with an inebriated, appreciative crowd, a laid-back bar staff and a jukebox full of good tunes.

• Drink the right amount of alcohol. Enough so that your inhibitions shrink, but not so much that you cannot climb up and stay on the bar without falling.

• Dry off the bar where you intend to dance. Use napkins or a dry bar rag to dry the bar and prevent slipping.

• Wait for a song you genuinely like. Load the jukebox upon your arrival to ensure that you will hear music that excites you. Choose upbeat songs that you know how to dance to.

• Enlist two people to help you up onto the bar. Place a hand on each of their shoulders.

• Prop the knee of your dominant leg on the bar stool. If the stool swivels, instruct your helpers to hold it still.

• Hold your supporters’ hands. Remove your hands from their shoulders and grab their hands.

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