Baby steps

Parenting class helps new moms and dads navigate the months following the birth of a child.

By JULIE PFITZINGER

Last update: October 10, 2009 - 3:30 PM

Before the arrival of their son, Luke, now 13 months old, Kim and Serge Phillips took a traditional labor and delivery class, but felt like they needed something more to prepare them to be parents.

"We knew nothing about very young babies," said Kim, 44. "We had been so focused about getting to the baby that we hadn't talked much about what life would be like once the baby was here."

The St. Paul couple decided to enroll in another program, a four-part workshop series called "Bringing Baby Home and Beyond," hosted by HealthEast Woodwinds Campus in Woodbury, targeting a wide range of changes that also arrive with a baby -- including sleeplessness, stress and uncertainty.

"This class is more like 'what to expect in life' than 'what to expect when you're expecting,'" said Donna Corbo, workshop facilitator.

The program was developed by Seattle researchers John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman, who've studied more than 3,000 parenting partners, in many cases following them for 12 years. Part of their research revealed that 83 percent of all new parents experience moderate to severe crisis in the months after the birth of a child.

"I recommend to parents that they keep those first six weeks very open and spend as much time as possible together with their child," said Corbo, who was trained at the Gottman Institute and has been leading workshops in the Twin Cities since 2005. "Whenever baby sleeps, mom should sleep. Limit the number of visitors to see the baby. Spend as much time holding and carrying the baby as possible and keep him or her in the room at night with you for several weeks after birth."

Kim Phillips and her husband believe the lessons they learned made a significant difference in their first few weeks as a family.

"I wouldn't say we hibernated, but we really did try to spend time alone and schedule short visits for family members," she said. "In the workshop, Serge really picked up on discussions about how fathers can take an active role from the beginning. I was recovering from a C-section and just wiped out. He took a couple of days off right away and then worked part-time for two weeks, so he was very hands-on with Luke."

The couple also took turns "wearing" Luke in a sling-style baby carrier almost constantly during his first weeks. "It was especially helpful during what we called 'the 5 o'clock grizzlies.' One of us would wear him while we were moving around the kitchen making dinner," Kim said. "I know he cried less because of it."

The new parents also learned how to pick up on Luke's cues and were able to "understand his rhythm a little bit better," Kim said.

The "beyond" part of the workshop addresses life after those harried first weeks, offering tips on maintaining a healthy marriage and suggestions on ways couples can co-parent successfully and parlay their natural strengths into raising a happy, well-adjusted child.

"Other classes were so much about the physical needs of the baby, which we found out were the easy part once we got to know him," Kim said. "The things covered in this class were the most difficult -- and most important."

Julie Pfitzinger is a West St. Paul freelance writer.

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