Relationships: Divorcing? Go ahead and bury the past - literally

When Jill Testa's 20-year marriage ended in 2006, she and her husband split up their material goods "mutually and amicably." There was just one nagging residual. What should she do with her wedding ring?

By Gail Rosenblum, Star Tribune

Last update: August 31, 2007 - 5:28 PM

The answer came to Testa at an unlikely event: a funeral. "It just really hit me," said Testa, 49, of New York City. Today, she and her brother, Steve, run weddingringcoffin.com, an online site that sells miniature caskets to display rings and symbolize a dead marriage. The coffins, priced from $30 to $35, measure about 6 inches long, are made of solid wood with a dark, mahogany finish, and are lined with black velvet. A split lid allows for an open or closed casket. Customers may choose from one of six engraved brass plaques, with messages ranging from the hopeful -- "Bury the past and move on" -- to the cynical, "Six feet isn't deep enough!" Some buyers prefer to choose their own message, such as one ex-husband whose plaque reads: "You should have learned to play golf." Testa, the mother of a 19-year-old, keeps her own tiny coffin on a shelf. She never envisioned people actually burying them but, she said, "if it makes people feel better to bury it, or toss it in a river, then that's a good thing." Visit the website or call 1-908-233-1423.

Room for the groom?

The number of grooms who enjoy taking part in wedding planning just got a boost. "Sophisticated Groom," formerly online only, launches its first print version in November on newsstands nationwide. "The presence of a male wedding magazine is long overdue," says publisher J. Kevin Powell. The magazine, priced at $4.99, targets pre-engaged and engaged men, ages 25 to 45, seeking survival strategies, fashion and planning advice. Longer versions of magazine articles, as well as original content, can be found at www.sophisticatedgroom.com.

Brides: Do your housework homework

A heads-up for future brides: You might want to have "the talk" with your guy before walking down the aisle. A new study supports a commonly held belief that married men fall short in the housework department. The study, published in the Journal of Family Issues, looked at more than 17,000 people in 28 countries. Married men, the study found, reported doing less housework than live-in boyfriends. This was true even among couples with an egalitarian view on gender. Study co-author Shannon Davis said this seems to suggest that the institution of marriage changes the division of labor. "Marriage as an institution seems to have a traditionalizing effect on couples," she said, "even couples who see men and women as equal." To read the entire study, go to jfi.sagepub.com/cgi/content/abstract/28/9/1246

Don't forget to play

Speaking of school, many kids flocking back next week will leave lonely little brothers and sisters at home. There's only one thing to do: Play! Bobbi Conner's "Unplugged Play" (Workman, $16.95) is a must-have for parents, grandparents and day-care providers looking for ways to entertain youngsters ages 1 to 10. The book offers a dizzying array of game ideas, organized by age, that require no batteries. There's outdoor and indoor play, musical and pretend play, and themes such as family game night and large group play. But be careful. The book will make big kids, and their working parents, wish they could stay home and play, too.

Gail Rosenblum • 612-673-7350

Sign of the times

Sometimes, a picture is worth a thousand words. Sometimes, a child's school emergency card is. Here's one that many Minneapolis parents are sending back with kids this school year. Note the checkboxes.

Gail Rosenblum • grosenblum@startribune.com