''Friended' for life: A kidney that made Facebook history

Tweeting for a kidney? R U kidding? Chris Strouth did just that, and it worked out pretty well for him.

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Chris Strouth of Minneapolis, left, tweeted a plea into cyberspace for a new kidney. He got one, via casual acquaintance — and Facebook friend — Scott Pakudaitis of St. Paul. “My recovery was remarkable,” Pakudaitis said. “I was only home for a week before my first outing.”

Photo: Tom Wallace, Star Tribune

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William the Conqueror defeated Chris' arch-enemy Harold, but he never could have done it without Scott.

Sounds like a weekly soap-opera update from "As the Medieval World Turns," but it's actually the tale of two guys, a traveling kidney and saving lives through social media.

Chris Strouth needed a kidney transplant. He'd been on dialysis for months after Berger's disease (which he called "Harold") wreaked havoc on his renal system. So he tweeted about it, casting a wide electronic net with a plea to anyone he was even remotely connected to online. He got an impressive 19 offers, and one match -- casual acquaintance and Facebook friend Scott Pakudaitis of St. Paul, whose left kidney, "William the Conqueror," was transplanted into Strouth in December. Both are doing well, and the rest is Facebook history.

"Part of my culture growing up was to be involved and help people," Pakudaitis said. "A friend of mine had gone through being a donor for a relative of his, and he was just fine afterward."

Before agreeing to become a donor, he checked with his own family to make sure none of them anticipated needing a kidney someday.

"Oh, sure, so I was your second choice," joked Strouth.

A study in contrasts

On a recent afternoon in Strouth's northeast Minneapolis studio, the two men sat down -- in front of a coincidentally kidney-shaped table -- to talk about their unusual connection and respective experiences. Aside from both being culture vultures, the pair are a study in contrasts. Strouth, a musician, filmmaker and teacher, is a gregarious wisecracker and extremely nonlinear thinker who seems to know everyone. Pakudaitis, a research and data analyst for St. Catherine University and freelance photographer, is a self-described introvert with an endearing, eccentric passion: He adores squirrels.

As is common in Facebookworld, Strouth, 41, and Pakudaitis, 44, were only slightly acquainted, but have overlaps in their friend circles.

"We'd never had a beer or lunch together or anything like that," Strouth said. "But I was at a party at his house once."

The occasion marked the first time the two men had seen each other since the hospital.

"Through the entire course of putting this together we never spoke on the phone or in real time," Strouth said. "The whole thing was through Facebook and Twitter. I would send long messages to which Scott would not reply for a while and I would feel panicked that he didn't like something I wrote. Then he'd answer and I'd think, 'Good, I'm still getting the kidney.'"

Social media have been used to advance worthy causes since MySpace logged its first few members, but actually finding a donor organ via Twitter or Facebook is a newer phenomenon. It may not technically be more personal than a targeted mass mailing, or a flier on a club bulletin board. But it feels more personal, allowing us to communicate with huge numbers of people in a very efficient, yet also very emotional way.

Social media and organ donation

Pakudaitis remembers feeling calm pre-surgery, even joking with his doctor about making sure to take the right kidney. Strouth said he was vomiting with nervousness -- a natural reaction, but he was in experienced hands.

The University of Minnesota Medical Center has been performing organ transplants since 1963, longer than any other place in the world, and also holds the record for the highest number of living-organ transplants, including more than 4,000 kidneys. Cathy Garvey, a transplant director and coordinator, has seen firsthand how Facebook is being used to connect with possible donors.

"Typically, it's been people who need a second transplant, who already know they're not compatible with family or friends, who push the search out farther," Garvey said. "Church bulletins, workplace newsletters, approaching TV stations to put it on the news. Social media is the logical next step."

Some would-be donors have the best intentions, but don't pass a required psychosocial test, she said: "Some people can't handle the stress. If they have financial worries or a long history of mental illness, we don't want anything to upset the apple cart. We did take an extra look at Scott because he and Chris have a looser relationship."

Pakudaitis knew they had to make sure he was doing it for the right reasons, he said, adding they looked closely at his attitude toward volunteering. He's been a longtime Big Brother, has given time to Habitat for Humanity and even cares for injured baby squirrels at a wildlife conservatory.

Pakudaitis did a one-week countdown on his Facebook page before the operation. Because he knew he wouldn't be very spry for a while, he went out dancing the night before, gathering a crew of friends to join him by putting out a call on ... Facebook, natch. He began tweeting about the recovery from his hospital bed that afternoon.

Internet as cocktail party

Social media also helped support for both donor and donee grow exponentially.

Chris: "I got a thousand Facebook messages the week of the surgery. We had numerous Catholic churches praying for us, a Buddhist temple, a bunch of Lutherans, a pagan sect and at least two Satanists that I know of, so we were pretty much covered."

Scott: "That was my experience, too. Every faith was represented. I said, 'Pray for the surgeons, that they've got steady hands and are well rested.'"

Chris: "Oh, I wanted them to pray for me."

Scott: "Well, you needed that; I didn't."

Chris: "The Internet is a copy machine, but it's also a cocktail party. The magic of Facebook is seeing all the different people from my universe interact. A friend of mine would make a comment, some German technomusician would do a follow-up, then someone I went to high school with, and then some weirdo who I don't know how I know them."

Since his transplant, Strouth has given the Roseville-based regional division of the National Kidney Foundation a Facebook-page tutorial.

"This is a way to throw a need out there to a world of people you wouldn't normally talk to and see what comes back," said Jill Evenocheck, regional division president. "There are 83,000 people nationally waiting for a kidney today, and social media is one of the ways we can help that number can go down."

Pakudaitis is now Facebook friends with Strouth's surgeon, Dr. Ty Dunn. (Strouth isn't, because Dunn has a rule about not "friending" patients.) Would he recommend his donor experience to others?

Scott: "I see the impact it's made on Chris' life and I feel great for helping make that change. And my own recovery went great, less painful than I expected."

Chris: "Yeah, but would you give it five stars on Yelp?"

Scott: "Five stars."

Chris: "I never told you this, but you were the first person to send me a friend request back when Facebook was really new and I was just using it to communicate with my students. I thought, how am I going to handle this, should I accept everyone, or just family and close friends? Then I thought, anyone who wants to be my friend who I know is not some kook I'm going to let in. People recommend limiting who I add and I say, really? Because you never know what you're going to miss."

Strouth handed Pakudaitis a belated Christmas gift -- a nutcracker in the form of a squirrel.

"You've already given me mine," he said.

Kristin Tillotson • 612-673-7046

 

Watch Chris Strouth talk about his kidney disease and transplant here.

 

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