What's it like to fall down a rabbit hole, only to discover that you're suddenly some sort of fashion muse to everyone from Stella McCartney to Overstock.com?

Go ask Alice. I think she'll know.

Tim Burton's highly anticipated 3-D version of "Alice in Wonderland," due in theaters March 5, combines the outsized imaginations of Burton and Lewis Carroll, who might have been BFFs had they been born in the same century (and if Carroll had actually been more like the alter ego who created "Alice" instead of an uptight mathematician).

The escapist appeal of Alice -- the original trippy heroine with an oddball entourage navigating a world where nothing is as it seems -- is obvious, especially now when real life is topsy-turvy and curiouser than a grin without a cat. But no matter how nonsensical the times, Alice's tale has steadily inspired artists, photographers and fashionistas of all stripes through its limitless elements of magic, madness, silliness, symbolism and undercurrent of naughtiness.

Every blockbuster film unleashes its own onslaught of merchandise madness, but this one's got even the Hatter beat. It's enough to wish Carroll back to life so he could make up a sarcastic, subversive fairy tale about it. (He was, after all, the first famous user of the word "snark," though in his poem the snark was a mythical beast being hunted.)

Two prominent department stores -- Bergdorf Goodman in New York and Printemps in Paris -- have created Alice-themed windows within the past few months. Bloomingdale's, in partnership with Disney, will follow suit in early March. Designers claiming an Alice influence this year include Zac Posen, whose pre-fall 2010 collection includes plaid thigh-length dresses. The trouble is, so much of what is being dubbed as Alice-inspired is only vaguely associated with the characters or the story. Sue Wong's Alice-inspired dresses for Disney seem less Wonderland than simply girly-girl.

Many trumped-up "Alice" connections are achieved by slapping new names and packaging on not-so-new beauty products, including a fanciful makeup palette from Urban Decay and an Alice-aligned collection of OPI nail polish. Online retailers are hastily grouping anything that's red, black and gold with a heart on it into special promotions.

Alice's charms

Tom Binns, an award-winning designer whose creations have been seen on Michelle Obama, could show some others how it's done. He has created some quite attractive Alice-themed jewelry, including triple-looped chains studded with sleek hearts, and a bracelet chock full of Alice charms for $125.

Stella McCartney's chunky necklace and bracelet made of brass link chains and plexi charms -- including a rabbit, Mad Hatter and the four card suits -- seem overpriced at $425 and $395, considering the basic costume-jewelry materials.

Colleen Atwood's costumes for Burton's film, on the other hand, look fantastic, as over the top as you'd expect, in the best sense. For her ninth collaboration with Burton, Atwood is as meticulously detailed as ever.

For Alice, she began with a Victorian blue dress that pays homage to John Tenniel and Arthur Rackham, the early and most memorable illustrators of the "Alice" books. In this film, as Alice shrinks and grows, her clothes do not follow suit.

As for this story's real fashion plate, the Mad Hatter, Atwood's research may reveal just how he lost his marbles: The mercury used to felt hats was so toxic that it was thought to have caused damage not only to hair, but brains. The turquoise frock coat worn by Johnny Depp was inspired by color-changing mood rings.

The goal of a true "Alice" fan is to actually experience a feeling of wonder, and the film should have no problem eliciting that response. For one thing, the story is new, with an older Alice returning to Wonderland to see her old pals. There are also some 2,000 visual-effect shots, the combining of animation and live action, and having it all presented in 3-D.

But when you read this phrase in a Disney press release -- "the full lineup of designers and top brands behind the Alice in Wonderland lifestyle program" -- you realize that in the world outside the theater, this story's last thread of imagination has been beaten to death, processed and shrink-wrapped.

No matter what, Alice will always be a top fashion muse because, as English writer G.K. Chesterton wrote in "A Defence of Nonsense," a 1902 Alice-related essay, "a thing cannot be completely wonderful so long as it remains sensible."

That's a fashion mantra if ever there were one.

Kristin Tillotson • 612-673-7046