When the going gets tough, the flacks get really going, it seems. We have been inundated by at least twice as many pitches as we got even six months ago.

Sifting through them is a chore, but sometimes entirely worth it when something comes along headlined "Get Rid of Your Man's 'Moobs'!" or "Tackle tailgate flatulence before the next game" or "Even Osama bin Laden listens to Captain & Tennille."

Almost as much fun is checking out the ones with survey numbers, which tend to fall under the "lies, damned lies and statistics" rubric. A couple of weeks ago, we got one from American Express' PR agency titled "Amex Finds Joyful Consumers Will Spend." Show of hands: How many of you consumers are truly joyful?

The numbers from this consumer survey and our reaction:

• "10 percent actually plan to spend more this year than last on holiday gifts, and 43 percent about the same." Reaction: That means the largest group, 47 percent, plans to spend less.

• "Proving good things do come in small packages, gift cards are the go-to present of the season (58 percent favor them vs. all other gift selections)." Reaction: Those who receive gift cards are well advised to cash them in promptly, given how many companies are folding up their tents in this economy.

• "Generosity abounds: 69 percent plan to do more or the same when it comes to charity this holiday." Reaction: Guessing most of those fell in "the same" category. Or "the well-intentioned fibber" arena.

• "Technology gifts are the single most expensive purchase that consumers expect to make (at an average of $450)." Reaction: What percentage of these are "a gift to myself"?

• "Trees may not be the only things trimmed. Some whittling of gift lists will occur (22 percent say they will cut down) but teachers, dad and the beloved family dog will likely hold a place at the top of the list." Reaction: Woof woof!

BILL WARD