C.J.: She rules in this TV court

Judge Jeanine Pirro's makeup was getting touched up just before she began shooting promos last week at FOX 9.

How much makeup could one of People magazine's Most Beautiful People (1997) require? As Debbie Davis dabbed away, Pirro quipped, "A LOT!" While I beg to disagree with the court, this is one of her comedic mainstays, so Pirro's shticking with it.

She stopped in Minnesota as part of a national promotional tour for her show, "Judge Pirro," which airs at 9 a.m. weekdays on My29 and at 2 p.m. on FOX 9. In addition to wonderful genes, the former courthouse judge and former district attorney (who started one of the first domestic violence units in the country) has an endless supply of witty ripostes and preternatural patience for those who come before her on national TV.

There was entirely too much cross-talking on the shows I watched last week, but Pirro doesn't mind the behavior. "I kind of like it," she said. "I grew up in a courtroom in terms of my profession, and as a judge I was very tough: 'You don't talk over anybody.'"

A lot of the plaintiffs and defendants in her TV courtroom don't know that you never talk over the judge. But "it really reveals a lot more than 20 minutes of questioning," she said. "You get the real tension, who's more bully, who's more victim. And a good thing about my court show: There's no lawyer in the middle, so I get to talk to the litigant and say, 'Look at me, don't shift your eyes.'" That helps when she's trying to get a sense of who's telling the truth.

She also dispenses advice to these people who desperately need it with more compassion than certain more brittle TV judges -- not that Pirro's anybody's patsy. "I like to think I give good advice," she said. She does, because she has better sense and obviously more smarts than the people who wind up on her court show.

"A lot of people come and talk about things that you or I would never talk about, but it's their realm, their life, and you don't minimize it."

A few years ago, Pirro learned that you minimize teenage angst in your own home at your own peril. "Maybe he had a pimple or something," Pirro said of her son, who was complaining about being ugly. "I said, 'Alex, I'm one of the 50 Most Beautiful in the world. How could you be ugly?' He said, Mom, that was ancient history."

Alex apparently grew out of his funk because his mom says he's "gorgeous" now.

Judge Pirro told a story at www.startribune.com/video about her own adolescent insecurities in the church choir as a girl who had really hairy legs.

Tom Petters used to have a much prettier escort than the members of the U.S. marshals force.

The businessman, whose U.S. District Court trial in St. Paul goes into closing arguments Monday, arrived at the 2008 Starkey Foundation gala on the arm of a stunning woman.

I recently came across this clip while searching my video files. Quite honestly, I didn't know who Petters was back then. But now that the feds have accused him of orchestrating the biggest Ponzi scheme in Minnesota history, we all know what he looks like.

At startribune.com/video you can eyeball Petters on the way into the gala and even hear him speaking charmingly to someone who addressed him as "Tom-Tom." Between his breezy gait and toothy smile, Petters looked like a bon vivant without a care in the world in 2008. He was so chipper on this day that he quaintly tossed out the word "darlink," I believe, although your ears may hear "darling."

Vikings "Sax Machine" Jared Allen has apparently settled on a permanent off-the-field sack mate.

Allen told Marjorie Johnson that he's engaged to marry his girlfriend, Amy, in May. Johnson, the blue-ribbon baking champ, got this tidbit while interviewing Allen for a "Twin Cities Live" segment scheduled to air Monday. (More details from Johnson were posted at startribune.com by me on Thursday.)

A call to the Vikings for confirmation got me a response that indicated Jared and Amy have been engaged for a couple of months. Really?

Hey, Jared, give me a call because I'm confused about this and other matters. For example: Is Amy otherwise known as Jordan Parrish? According to a sportsbybrooks.com posting, Parrish was prominently mentioned as your girlfriend in a 2007 ESPN.com piece by Elizabeth Merrill.

As you'll recall, back then you were with Kansas City. Since Amy and Jordan are both reportedly from Arizona, I'd just like to know if they are the same person.

C.J. is at 612.332.TIPS or cj@startribune.com. E-mailers, please state a subject -- "Hello" doesn't count. Attachments are not opened, so don't even try. More of her attitude can be seen on FOX 9 Thursday mornings.