Ask Amy: Pals need to 'make change'

By AMY DICKINSON

Last update: November 14, 2009 - 6:23 PM

Dear Amy: Earlier this year I met a friend, "Janet," for lunch. I suggested that we split a sandwich. She mentioned she had only a debit card with her. She said she would pay for lunch with her card and asked me to pay her back in cash.

When it came time to leave, she asked me for $4 to cover my portion of lunch. I had a $5 bill and asked her for $1 back. She reminded me that she only had her debit card. I told her that my only other option was $3 and some change.

She told me to just give her the $3 and change because she was running late.

Three months later, she owed me some money from another transaction.

We were unable to meet in person, so I asked her to mail me a check. When I received the check, I found a note from Janet saying that she took 40 cents out of the amount she owed to "cover the cost of the stamp." I asked her about it over the phone. She said she shorted me 40 cents because I shortchanged her a few months back!

She told me that I am "tight" with my money and that a friend would have just given her the $5.

She must have had a bigger problem with me prior to this incident to create such drama over a trivial amount of money! How should I proceed?

MIXED UP

Amy says: The price of a first-class stamp is 44 cents. I think you owe her 4 cents. Or does she owe you?

You see where I'm headed? Your friend seems determined to point out that you are petty, and yet her technique has backfired, making this issue (an important one) seem very silly.

You may be tight with your money. Are you prepared to look at this and cede her point? Your friend's reaction to you was impolite. Will she admit this? You two might be able to get a fresh start by expressing your frustration openly and agreeing to behave differently. Now get out there and "make change"!

Reader on killing raccoon

Dear Amy: You criticized a guy for killing a raccoon at his girlfriend's place.

You obviously live in the city. Here in the country, raccoons are vermin. He was doing her a favor.

PETE

Amy says: Actually, I'm a country girl. And where I come from, nobody kills anything -- even vermin -- on someone else's property without permission.

Removing the raccoon's food source (outdoor cat food) probably would have eliminated the menace without the mess.

Send questions via e-mail to Amy Dickinson at askamy@tribune.com or by mail to Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Av., Chicago, IL 60611.

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