Answer to Facebook quizzes is no

By RICK NELSON and CLAUDE PECK, Star Tribune

Last update: July 19, 2009 - 8:02 PM

RN: So I just took the "Which State Capital Are You?" test on the time-suck that is Facebook. Turns out I'm Trenton. Could I be a bigger loser?

CP: Relax, you could have been St. Paul. Did I say that?

RN: Yes, you did. Oh, and Chris Coleman is on Line 1. OK, so I'm making up the state capitals bit, but just in the past few days, my "friends" have generously shared the results of such revelatory questionnaires as "What Type of Lesbian Are You?" "Which Historically Black College or University Are You?" and "Which Taylor Swift Song Are You?" I was afraid to dive into "Which Wine Are You?" because I feared the result would be Lambrusco.

CP: People, did you not get enough pop quizzes in middle school? Does your workplace not have a quiz filter?

RN: I know. What's more troubling is their compulsion to share the results with the rest of us.

CP: There's always the "hide" button. Knocks the TMI types into Fbook oblivion, and they remain none the wiser. I'm waiting for "What Demon Plagues You?" or "Which Home Depot Doorknob Are You?" or "What Itchy Below-the-Belt Rash Are You?"

RN: Or "Which Balanchine Ballerina Are You?" Wait, that's one I would take.

CP: Yes, Allegra Kent. So far I have managed to abstain from taking one of these Facebook questionnaires, though I was sorely tempted by "Which Brilliant, Innovative, Philanthropic and Creative Genius are you?"

RN: Oh, ish. The bottom of this barrel are those vain, self-written exams that your "friends" compose and then impose upon you. As in, "How Well Do You Know Claude Peck?" Well enough already, thank you very much.

CP: Say what you want, but you are outside looking in on that one. It's been gratifying for me to see the thousands of people who are eager to learn more about me. Like that I love cross-dressing, dated someone named Anastasia Royal and write prize-winning sestinas in my spare time.

RN: Nuance and Facebook quizzes appear to be mutually exclusive. When our friend Kristin took the "Which Classic Hollywood Actress Are You?" test and ended up with "Judy Garland" -- please, she's a total Barbara Stanwyck -- it's probably because she answered the question "Do you have any gay friends?" with "Do I ever."

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