Withering Glance: An exhausting orchestra encore

By Rick Nelson and Claude Peck, Star Tribune

Last update: June 21, 2009 - 12:08 AM

Print this story

More from Lifestyle

RN: Thanks for talking Robert and me into that swell Minnesota Orchestra concert. I'm glad we got in one last Jorja Fleezanis appearance before her exit as concertmaster. Consider yourself lucky you steered clear of Orchestra Hall's parking ramp. What a nightmare.

CP: Since it was raining that night, I decided to pull in to that ramp for the first time ever. I wanted to use a credit card, and I was told no.

RN: Making it quite possibly the only city-owned parking facility in downtown Minneapolis with an aversion to plastic. Hello, 21st century? Meet the 11th & Marquette Municipal Ramp.

CP: So I made the poor attendant get out and direct traffic so I could back out. This, of course, put the cars behind me in a terrific mood. The construction, rain-filled potholes and mud-spattered streets were reminiscent of a Third World city during a monsoon. But the event rate at the orchestra-connected ramp was definitely First World.

RN: I know, nine bucks. I wish we'd followed your lead. It took us 36 minutes to exit the facility, post-concert. We could have listened to the orchestra's thrilling wall-of-sound whirl through "Pictures at an Exhibition" all over again.

CP: Or composed your own "Conniptions at a Garage."

RN: I realized why certain patrons rush for the doors the second Osmo Vänskä makes his final baton drop. I used to think they were philistines for ducking out during the curtain call. Now I know they're just trying to beat that exasperating ramp. I spent those 36 exhaust-fumed minutes wishing I had City Council power broker Lisa Goodman on my speed dial.

CP: Waterboard me all you want, I won't reveal the name and location of my favorite ramp in that part of downtown. Changing the subject, Orchestra Hall makes me feel so young.

RN: You and me both. I think the three of us brought down the audience's median age by about 20 years, and we're not exactly spring chickens. Youngsters averse to classical music don't know what they're missing, because the orchestra is so dang cool. And public rush tickets are -- what? -- 25 bucks? A steal.

CP: That lobby is the architectural equivalent of sinusitis: way congested.

RN: The worst. The good news is, dessert was being by provided by chef Vincent Francoual. Perhaps he and his crew should consider launching a similar dessert bar in that parking ramp. Ka-ching.

CP: Profiteroles avec car exhaust? Yum. Plus that'd be another eight dollars.

E-mail: witheringglance@startribune.com. Become a friend of Withering Glance on facebook.com.