Withering Glance: Facebook etiquette for baby boomers

Last update: November 17, 2008 - 11:33 AM

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Rick Nelson and Claude Peck dispense unasked-for advice about clothing, etiquette, relationships, grooming and more.

CP: I can't believe you are still refusing to "friend" me. Did I do something wrong, or are you still trying to figure out your Facebook?

RN: You know me, I've barely figured out how to log on. I'll have to go through that "friend requests" list again. Half the time I have no idea who these people are.

CP: Oldsters are invading Facebook by the millions, causing equal numbers of nieces, nephews, sons and daughters to roll their eyes in exasperation. I remember when I cursed the social networking site for distracting my niece from her college studies. Now I check it daily. What's next, an Elderhostel on Twitter?

RN: I know I'm an oldster -- for the first time, the president-elect is younger than I am, which depresses me to no end -- but do you have to call us that?

CP: If the label fits, baby, wear it. Two-thirds of Facebookers are under 25, but when I joined early this year there was no shortage of people who were sentient during the Nixon administration. I saw a study that said those over 44 now account for 13 percent of Facebook members in the United States. Still a narrow slice of the pie, but numerically that's huge, since the site has more than 33 million users in this country.

RN: I finally figured out how to post links and videos. So far I've put up a pirated performance of Balanchine's "Serenade." I'm waiting for the Balanchine Trust to yank it down. They watch their copyright closer than the election judges scanning ballots in the Franken-Coleman recount. Here's my question: How personal does one get when it comes to revealing aspects of one's life into the Internet ether?

CP: That's one thing I like about Facebook. It's PG-rated, or at most PG-13. Of the 2 billion or so photos that have been uploaded to Facebook, for example, it's rare to see people who are not fully clothed. For the older Web surfer, that's a big relief. There are plenty of other sites for the racier side of things -- or so I've heard.

RN: Uh-huh.

CP: Riddle me this, oh LTR guy: What is an appropriate amount of time to wait, after a breakup, before changing one's Facebook-profile relationship status to "single"?

RN: Please. Log on the second you can get out the door and get your hands on your iPhone.

CP: What, you are actually recommending that someone change their status through their tears?

RN: Well, you're not going to meet your ex's replacement by playing Scramble all day. Get the word out!

CP: That's just cruel. Perhaps you missed the news from London, where a married woman changed her status on Facebook after a row with the hubby. He killed her.

RN: I'm more concerned about my "friends" count. My current tally is 58. On the popularity scale, does that make me a Heather or a modern-day Charlie Brown?

CP: That number sounds a bit low. Can't you be less picky? I am.

E-mail: witheringglance@startribune.com.

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