Drama 101

A tongue-in-cheek "dictionary" features the low points of high school.

By GAIL ROSENBLUM

Last update: November 4, 2008 - 7:48 AM

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The just-published "Dictionary of High School B.S." (Zest Books, $11) should clear up any doubt that teenage angst is alive and well and living in a lunchroom near you. The funny little book by Lois Beckwith offers definitions of everything from "AP classes" to "zits" and might cause a rash to break out in anyone wishing to forget those formative years.

Here are slightly abridged examples:

AP classes. Classes for which students are often promised college credit, only to later find out that the college they selected won't give credit for any of their "advanced placement" courses.

Clique. A hotbed for bitter fighting among members who may actually hate each other, but who don't dare sever ties for fear of sitting alone at lunch.

College visits. An exhausting excursion that may include staying in really cheap motels or with some long-lost aunt.

Fundraising. Asking parents to force their friends and co-workers to fork over money.

Jerk. You, when you're having a bad day.

Parents. People who, after seeing a public service announcement about drugs, reading a worrisome article about teen sex in Newsweek or hearing about a violent incident at a local high school, attempt to discuss these topics, awkwardly, with their kids.

Peer pressure. An exaggerated force that parents, teachers and the media feel is responsible for making teenagers do things they would never ordinarily do.

Prom. An event that comes with a lesson in how to attach a horrid flower to a girl's dress without pricking her in the boob.

Reach school. A college or university to which one applies, but has no chance in hell of getting in.

Super senior. A student who has realized the true importance of showing up to gym class.

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