Withering Glance on the essence of Midwesternness

  • Article by: RICK NELSON and CLAUDE PECK , Star Tribune
  • Updated: August 22, 2014 - 2:00 PM

Rick Nelson and Claude Peck dispense unasked-for advice about clothing, etiquette, culture, relationships, grooming and more.


CP: Edges are great and all, but does anything beat living smack-dab in the middle?


RN: If that is your way of going all Midwestern rah-rah, then, yes.


CP: East and West coasters may barely know we exist, or think of us only through the lens of “Fargo” and “Prairie Home Companion,” but what do they know?


RN: You have clearly just returned from your annual week on Cape Cod. Calm down, and take a deep breath. Remember, you’re a Midwesterner. We don’t do histrionics.


CP: Do they have precinct caucuses? What about seed art? Where is their nearby Great Lake? If light-pollution maps are accurate, they barely even have stars at night.


RN: The two of us view the differences in our background as vast — you the native Chicagoan, me the born-and-raised Minneapolitan — and yet those in time zones other than Central are probably under the vague impression we both hail from some Miracle Whip-coated dullard called Minndianapolis.


CP: I’m surprised you stayed in town, once Dayton’s closed.


RN: You and me both, sister.


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