Dean Barkley is out there on the Web looking for affection.

The COO of a transportation company, political adviser, former U.S. senator and possible future Senate candidate has a Match.com profile, which notes that he'll do anything to avoid using his law degree. His romantic profile has been out there a while but it was just last week that I got to ask Barkley if he's yet found that woman of his dreams.

"No, I'm waiting for you," he said.

Food for thought down the road, but right now I'm a poor emotional risk.

"I'm still on the market," said Barkley. "What am I looking for? Oh, affection. Someone who would be nice."

Nice? I was being nice on the phone. "I know," said Barkley. "See, you're doing the right thing. I'm a simple man."

A father of two, Barkley has a divorce in his past that he didn't want, according to his Match.com profile. Women are "too complicated," he told me, adding something I think was a joke: "If I were to run for the Senate, my platform would be I'd outlaw marriage."

Asked what else was in the Match.com profile, Barkley said: "Well, I've got skinny-dipping and a few other things in there. I think I [wrote] that when I was under the influence."

I asked a source, who was a Match.com regular until finding the love of her life elsewhere, to get me Barkley's profile. She got it and told me the one thing that leapt out: "He's a typical man. His body type is 'a few extra pounds,' but they all want a woman who is 'athletic, toned, slender.'"

Informed of this archetypical inconsistency, Barkley said I might as well also note he probably wants somebody younger, too. "I'm 57," Barkley said, "I probably want a 30-year-old. You know how that goes."

Fit for a $100 bill? Dean Barkley may be too busy for dating if he decides to throw his hat into the Senate race today. Former Gov. Jesse Ventura still could, saying Monday night, "I am not going to run -- at this moment."

"Jesse and I are still just fine," Barkley said.

While their friendship is fine, some of the getups that Ventura had explored are not.

Ventura's winning gubernatorial look was a clean-shaven head and face. A few months ago Ventura went through a strange phrase with long hair and a dreadful beard-dreadlocks look. It's almost frightening to imagine what look he'd choose if he were a candidate.

"I think he'll go with the look he has now: a little longer hair in the back and no facial hair," said Barkley. "I think he looks a lot like Benjamin Franklin now."

'Talent' to get Fancy Fancy Ray tells me he's scheduled to be on "America's Got Talent" tonight on NBC. Surely, the judges' comments will sound like mine.

Loni knew all the time This newspaper had a role in helping Loni Anderson meet the husband of her dreams, although it cannot be held responsible for it taking her 45 years to marry him.

"The legendary blonde bombshell," reads the July 14 People magazine, "was hired by the Minneapolis Star Tribune [which probably had a different name back then] to greet and pose with visiting celebrities. One job perk? In 1963 she met Bob Flick, a folk singer whose group the Brothers Four had a hit song, 'Greenfields.'"

They dated for seven months. She went on to Hollywood stardom and three husbands, including Burt Reynolds. She and Flick reunited when she tracked down his phone number on the Internet.

Anderson was so infatuated after their first meeting when she was 17, she told People, "I used to write Mrs. Loni Flick on my notebooks." As of May 17, she can legitimately identify herself that way.

Congrats!

Former Gov. Wendell Anderson apparently never had a real shot at being the love of Loni's life back when he was one of the three guys she was juggling.

A happy happy Danielle Igbanugo celebrated the 13th anniversary of her 25th birthday Friday at r. Norman's Steakhouse.

She playfully put restaurant staffers through their paces. She asked a security guy standing outside if he was her birthday stripper. He told her to close her eyes. "You still have on clothes," Igbanugo said when she opened her big orbs. One waiter gamely sang "Happy Birthday" under his voice every time he came by, as Birthday Girl requested.

Both she and her mom, Michele Riley of St. Paul, raised my eyebrows by wearing mini-dresses; Riley was also wearing (note to assistant prosecutor Nancy Jones) a church hat.

In a touching toast, Danielle's husband, Herbert Igbanugo, an immigration lawyer, joked that he hoped his wife would go down swinging in a minidress just like her mom. Or, I'm thinking, NOT!

C.J. is at 612.332.TIPS or cj@startribune.com. E-mailers, please state a subject -- "Hello" doesn't count. Attachments are not opened, so don't even try. More of her attitude can be seen on Fox 9 Thursday mornings.