Discarded hockey net leads to friends' tiff

This is about the escapades of my son and his two friends, who looked forward to this weekend in west Bloomington as much as Christmas.

The year that stands out the most is the one that nearly shattered their friendship. The "rules" that governed their scavenging included one that gave ownership to the boy who dragged the desired item from the curb to his home. This was usually not a problem because there was always enough booty to satisfy all three. In fact, they often sat down after their quest to barter and trade the treasures they had found.

But one year a great battle arose regarding a much damaged hockey net. To be honest, it wasn't of good quality to begin with, and was now certainly beyond even the designation of being on its "last legs." I say that because one of the two supports for the net was essentially nonfunctional, so the net noticeably listed to one side.

There was no doubt that my son's friend had dragged the net to his house, which made perfect sense because he and his brother had a flat driveway and lived on a cul-de-sac. Our house is on a fairly busy street, and we have a driveway with a dramatic slope to this street.

Nevertheless, my son declared that he had claimed the net when it was first sighted and that his friend only dragged it because my son was already dragging something else. He argued that the net was rightfully his, apparently ignoring the previously established "You drag it, you own it" rule. The two brothers argued the precedent of "dragging means ownership" and pointed out that their house had the only driveway where the net could really be used. They also promised that my son could use it when they played together, which they did daily.

I should mention that none of these boys plays hockey. Nevertheless, it became a huge bone of contention among them, and eventually the two brothers and my son refused even to speak to one another, let alone play together. After I pried out of my son what had caused this fissure, I called the brothers' mother, who agreed with me that a virtually useless hockey net should not be the cause of the end of our children's long friendship.

We mothers brought the warring factions together and firmly explained that unless the boys got past this situation and began to play as friends again, the hockey net would go. The fear of losing a treasure rescued from the landfill on Junk Day outweighed their concern about ownership. The friendship was saved and the hockey net was ignored completely thereafter. Eventually, it found its place on the curb the following year, only to be claimed by younger boys in the neighborhood who had coveted it the entire time it sat neglected by my son and his friends.

I loved Junk Day. It really allowed boys to be boys, and ultimately proved to provide a life lesson about the importance of friendship over possessions. I encourage every parent to let their children experience the joy of dragging home other people's discards. It harks back to a more innocent time and might even keep many things from the fate of the landfill. Just be certain that the rules of ownership are clearly established first and that your children realize that stuff can never trump friendship.

LISA MILLER, BLOOMINGTON