Suggestions for a really good wedding

Number one: Set a budget and stick to it.

Last update: March 30, 2008 - 9:28 PM

• Set a budget and stick to it. Don't go into debt for a one-day event. Make the most of what you can afford. And don't compare your event with those in a magazine, whose job it is to sell outsized dreams that cost even more money.

• Parents, if you're giving the couple money for the wedding, do it without strings attached. Let the bride and groom decide what is most important to them about the event and let them spend the money accordingly.

• The bride and groom should be united: Don't pit the M.O.B. against the groom, or the bride's parents against the groom's parents. Or, for that matter, the bride against the groom. If the bridal couple can't work out these details together, they are going to have a hard time later when really important issues crop up.

• Include the groom and father in the discussions that often play out between mother and bride.

• Compare prices. We ordered flowers for the reception from Costco -- 12 dozen roses that lasted more than a week-- and a friend and I arranged them at the reception hall the morning of the wedding. (It was cheaper to order the flowers over the phone than it was to do it online). We saved about $300 by ordering them this way rather than through the florist who did the bouquets.

• Food and beverages are the single biggest wedding expense. You can control this either by the number of guests or by what you're offering at the wedding. Keep costs lower with hors d'oeuvres instead of a sit-down meal, champagne instead of mixed drinks. Calculate the per-guest cost and use that to determine whether you want more guests or more food. What's an extra 30 guests? At a sit-down dinner where you're spending $60 apiece, that's $1,800.

• Keep costs for the attendants reasonable, especially if they are footing the bill for out-of-town expenses. (Better yet, the bridal couple should pay for an attendant's dress or a groomsman's tux if they have to pay for a plane ticket.)

• You don't need a year to complete wedding plans unless you want some hard-to-book location for the event. In fact, if you need 12 months to make plans, you are making way too many plans.

• Don't look for perfection. And don't get thrown off kilter if something unexpected happens. It will. That's the one thing you can expect at a wedding.

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