From the trenches

How far have women come in the workplace?

Carlson: With the Fortune 500, not very far. We've gone from one CEO in the last 20 years to 10 CEOs. But if you're talking about women in small businesses and as major shareholders of companies, it's astonishing. In that perspective, women are finding ways to lead and contribute.

Klas: We have a way to go. We're seeing women almost at that high level of management who step out because they decide, 'I can do this differently and, in many cases better.' They're thinking, 'Life is short and I want to do it my way now. I'm impatient to wait for the game to change.'

Johnson: I see a lot of progress in mid- to lower levels of management, but the higher up you go, such as women CEOs and entrepreneurs, and women in boardrooms, we aren't represented. A lot of women choose not to play and withdraw. Our willingness to accept risk, particularly financial risk, is very low.

Do women in business take enough credit for what they do?

Klas: The reticence comes because, as women, we look at things very holistically: How will it affect me, my team, my family? We want everyone to win. That's why I'm recovering from the law. I always wondered, 'Why can't both sides win?' But we need to be much more confident about touting our accomplishments, giving ourselves permission to lead. If you are the CEO of an amazing business, take credit, scream it, be proud of it!

True or false: Women bosses are toughest on other women.

Carlson: I was an executive in a Fortune 500 company for 15 years. By and large, my performance evaluations, the experiences offered to me and credit I was given were decidedly different when given by a man. Women were fair and far less forgiving. Men were fair and forgiving. I tended to like working for men better. You didn't have to mince words, worry about misinterpretation.

Johnson: Women are often not direct. It's, 'I don't really want to say this because I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I'm mad at you and you're fired.' Men actually appreciate the lack of b.s. Guys learn how to work with people they don't like by playing team sports; our games are things like jump rope. You make one mistake and you're out of the game.

Can you be friends with people you manage?

Carlson: To be an effective leader, you absolutely must be in relationships with the people you manage. But there is a boundary you really need to maintain, whether they're male or female. If you're friends with someone, will you put that relationship at risk when it comes time to evaluate that performance? Can you be friends? Yeah. Should you be? You need boundaries. Men are extremely cognizant of this.

Will men be offended, or entertained, by Nina DiSesa's book?

Klas: (Laughs). My husband saw the title and, "Wow! S&M? Can I read it after you?" I actually applaud Nina for her marketing savvy. Any business development relationship has an element of seduction and manipulation, in the most positive sense. I do want my husband to read it, and I encourage other men to read it, too. It's an entertaining, but also telling perspective on the realities of the boys' club. Men think there's a level playing field because they're in the club.

Johnson: It's generational. The 60-plus man, who came of age during the three-martini lunch, is still trying to figure out what the impact of women in the workplace is and won't understand it. But younger men, who are looking for ways to promote women, will. They have daughters coming of age, but they're not really sure what they can do to get women on their boards. They talk about doing it, but don't act on it.

Seduction and manipulation: What other words do the same trick? Carlson: Influence. Power. Charm.

Klas: Emotional intelligence. Can you read a room, read signals? It's about doing your due diligence, being so overprepared that seduction can happen naturally.

Johnson: Persuasion. Nina was in the game, in the moment while persuading. What she did was real.