Graduation snub leaves student feeling slighted

Article by: EMILY YOFFE , Slate
Updated: May 27, 2012 - 3:45 PM

8
comments
resize text
print
buy reprints

Tweet
share

email
Email share

your name

your email

recipients email

+ add a comment add a comment

Q This weekend is my graduation from college.

Due to personal and financial difficulties, it has taken me eight years to earn my degree. I realize it's a silly ceremony that doesn't mean anything, but I was looking forward to the catharsis of walking the stage and having my friends and family there.

I got a call from my sister a few days ago saying that because of reasonable, yet not insurmountable problems, she and my mother won't be coming. They have helped me out, and I owe each a lot of money. They are my only nearby family, so I'm probably not going to attend my commencement now.

My mother and sister were expecting me to move back to their city, but I think I'll move someplace new, exciting and on the other side of the country.

Am I right to feel slighted that they're not coming? How do I tell them that this is the reason I'm not moving back without being hurtful?

A Graduation is a big deal, and you should attend yours. You mention you have friends -- I assume many are classmates -- so collect your diploma with them. Then gather a group to go out to raise a celebratory glass, or see if you can join someone else's party.

As for the rest of your life, consider your next move carefully. If you're making one across the country with no prospects, be aware you'll likely be hitting up your mother and sister for more cash to finance it. If there is good reason -- a job, a place to stay -- to move back to their city, don't dismiss it just because of their absence on your big day. You've earned a hard-won college degree, but planning your life around a fit of pique shows you still have a lot to learn.

Send questions to prudence@slate.com.