Ask Amy: Costly mistake has worker very worried

Dear Amy: I work for a small family-owned business. My employers pay my rent and electricity, and give me a salary. (I live in an apartment attached to the office.) I realize that they have been extremely generous to me, and have gone over and above in their efforts to help me.

Recently I made a big mistake concerning two of their subcontractors. I overpaid these subcontractors by about $8,000. I realize that this was a bad mistake. The subcontractors brought the mistake to my employer's attention. One was overpaid by $6,000. They returned the check, so no money left my employer's account.

I have tried to correct this mistake and have apologized. I'm double-checking payments now.

My employers are very angry with me; they are not speaking to me except to inform me of any other mistakes I have made.

I have been working for them since February, and this is the biggest mistake I have made. Of course I feel terrible. Now my employers are interviewing people to replace me, but they haven't said anything to me.

I am worrying myself sick over this. I just want this to be over. My daughter lives with me, and we are already moving our stuff to a storage shed. What more can I do?

WORRIED

Amy says: Your employers have been patient and generous. Now it's time to show them that they didn't make a mistake when they hired you.

One mark of a professional is to demonstrate the courage not only to admit a mistake but to take the steps required to make things right. You should ask your employers for a meeting. Review what you did, what went wrong and what steps you are taking to make sure that it will never happen again.

It sounds as if you could benefit from additional training and education. Perhaps there is a bookkeeping class at your local community college where you can brush up on your skills. Ask your employers if they will keep you on, perhaps for a probationary period, until you can prove to them that you are competent.

You'll feel better as soon as you become proactive about this. Seize this as a learning experience, no matter what the outcome.

Love of her life, or her husband?

Dear Amy: I was about 23 years old when I met the guy of my dreams. Unfortunately, he was married. I saw him for about 10 years, off and on. I got married to another guy about 20 years ago. We have had our ups and downs, but we are still together. Our daughter is 18.

The love of my life lost his wife about a year ago. Within two months, we started seeing each other again. I still love him. I separated from my husband last year, but my husband begged me to come back, so I did. I still saw my old love.

I'm scared of what will happen. This man says he loved me dearly in the old days, but I'm married now to a man who loves me to death. Now my old love says he doesn't want to break up our marriage. He says he still wants to see me and always takes my calls. I think he might have some other girlfriends.

I honestly think he still loves me. When we are together, we both lose touch with the real world. After all these years, I still love him; I feel it's for real.

My friends say to stay with my husband and continue to see him on the side. I don't want that. I know that my husband is truly in love with me, but my heart is with another. What is your advice to me?

HEARTBROKEN

Amy says: When your affair partner became available for a full-time relationship, he lost interest in you. When you became available, he also lost interest in you. "He always takes my calls" doesn't exactly make you two Romeo and Juliet, if you know what I mean.

I disagree with your friends. I don't think that you should stay with your husband under these circumstances, unless you are prepared to have an honest and committed relationship with him. If you leave the marriage, however, be prepared to be alone. Unfortunately, I suspect that you will discover that the love of your life has an expiration date.

Send questions via e-mail to askamy@tribune.com or by mail to Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Av., Chicago, IL 60611.

The candy's still dandy

Dear Amy: I am writing in response to 14-year-old "Emily," who wanted to go trick-or-treating. Like Emily, I did not want to give up on trick-or-treating when I was 14, so my friends and I dressed up and went. It was so awkward -- everyone mentioned something about us being too old, and we eventually went home. It had lost its luster. Surprisingly, however, the next year my friends and I just walked around town watching all the little kids, and everywhere we went people offered us candy! Go figure.

SARAH in Pa.

Amy says: It seems that the bulk of Halloween really is for younger kids, but that doesn't mean that you can't still enjoy it. I'll save some candy for you and your friends.