C.J.: Entrants in Grain Belt beer commercial contest have taste ... and no taste

And the winner of the "Make Your Own Grain Belt Beer Commercial" contest should be the folks behind "Golden Shower."

By C.J., Star Tribune

Last update: September 10, 2007 - 1:34 PM

And the winner of the "Make Your Own Grain Belt Beer Commercial" contest should be the folks behind "Golden Shower."

That's the one that made me laugh out loud, although the official judges may select a different entrant as the winner.

At 7 p.m. and 9 p.m showings Wednesday at the Ritz Theater in northeast Minneapolis, the commercial will be seen and the winners revealed, Rob Brown, Grain Belt's PR guy, told me Monday. First prize is $1,000 and a year's supply of Grain Belt.

Brown's favorite is the "No Fruit Required" entry [which seemed familiar to me]. Two people are sitting on a pier enjoying the view; there are a couple bottles of beer on table between them. Into the Mexican beer goes a lime wedge. When the fellow attempts to put a wedge of lime in the Premium Grain Belt, his hands gets slapped.

I could see that one being a winner because it will offend no one, unlike the "Golden Shower," which may be a problem with cross-dressers or transsexuals, many of whom look so much better than the main character, and the women, in this spot.

It's very silly. The main character is sporting a 5 o'clock shadow, tattoos, an atrocious wig and a "sexy" ill-fitting outfit that cannot contain a sizable, drooping gut. A group of jealous women onlookers cannot understand why this woman, has the undivided, dance floor attention of some guys in this bar. So the women follow their competition into the restroom, where the secret is revealed: being drenched in Grain Belt.

With a lot of editing, the one I call "The Running Man" commercial looks like a winner, and there was something amusing about the spot that explained the conception of Grain Belt beer.

Although the DVD of commercials Brown sent me had "Not for Broadcast" scrawled on it, I assume that KARE11 will be allowed to show them tonight at 10 p.m., when the contest is scheduled to be featured.

Oh, and who are these moronic commercial entrants who submitted profanity-laden entries?

"Those won't see the light of day on television," said Brown.

When asked about the vile spot showing a guy vomiting [imagery that no beermaker would ever embrace], Brown was so disgusted that he uttered to me his own unprintable expletive.

C.J. is at 612.332.TIPS or cj@startribune.com. E-mailers, please state a subject -- "Hello" doesn't count. Attachments are not opened, so don't even try. More of her attitude can be seen on Fox 9 Thursday mornings.

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