Let the children play

If the preschoolers at Oak Hill day care have fancy toys that make noise and flash lights at home, they don't seem to miss them here.

They're happily building imaginary skyscrapers out of plain wooden blocks, hugging logo-free stuffed animals and creating blue rivers and orange campfires by arranging colored scarves on the floor.

At snack time, they sit at little tables, eating oatmeal crackers they helped bake that morning, carrots they peeled and orange juice they squeezed. After bringing their dishes to the sink, they fold towels while singing, "I'm a little mouse, cleaning up my house," a sight that would make many a parent's jaw drop.

Sound like a fantasy? It's part of the everyday routine at Oak Hill, a small family-style day-care center operated by Jane Hibscher in her North St. Paul home, where, she says, "Real life is our curriculum."

Her approach is an example of a "back to basics" style of child-rearing that's drawing kudos from experts and parents searching for an antidote to the excesses of modern kids' upbringing.

"Real life is our curriculum," said Hibscher, who teaches the kids language development, creativity and social skills through everyday activities, with lots of repetition and free play time, during which she's watchful, but doesn't interfere. Proponents say this leads to more confidence and better language skills at earlier ages.

"He's 3 1/2, and he has learned how to negotiate with words, not hitting," Roseville mom Linnette Werner said of her son Elijah, who goes to Oak Hill. "We used to have to struggle with our two older kids about putting their toys away, and he is just a joy about those things."

The concept of cutting back on the complications in kids' lives in the name of cognitive development isn't exactly new, but has recently gained traction in reaction to a combination of trends -- helicopter parenting, reliance on excessive amounts of electronic media and toys to entertain kids, and school emphasis on rote learning and standardized test scores over creative problem-solving and critical thought.

"This is a positive development, more like wise, balanced parenting than back-to-the-past parenting," said Bill Doherty, a family social science professor at the University of Minnesota who is getting increasing requests for his presentation on wise parenting in a "too much of everything" world.

"We know more now about what stimulates children's cognitive development, but we risk doing too much of everything and neglecting the basics in child development that have not changed: lots of positive social interaction with family, peers and teachers, and time to enjoy the freedom of childhood," he said.

Not just the 'super-crunchy'

In Minnesota and nationwide, a new movement called "Simplicity Parenting" is drawing attention. Started by Australian educator and author Kim John Payne, the philosophy recommends streamlining the home environment (not just in terms of stuff, but also sensory overload), and to scale back on computer and TV time as well as micro-management of children's time.

While the movement's seeds have taken root most quickly among parents and teachers involved in the compatible education methods espoused by Waldorf and Montessori schools, "it's not just super-crunchy people who are doing this," said Jessica Weappa, a Payne trainee and home-schooling parent who will teach a seven-session Simplicity Parenting workshop beginning Jan. 15 at the City of Lakes Waldorf School in south Minneapolis. "Young kids getting too much exposure to media is affecting all families, at deep levels."

Lisa Denninger, a Maple Grove mother of a sixth-grader and first-grader in public schools, agrees. She hasn't finished reading "Simplicity Parenting" -- she's too busy carting this child to these lessons and the other to those -- but she's reconsidering how her family spends its time.

"When I first picked the book up, I thought, oh, great, another book to tell me all the things we're doing wrong," she said. "But it hasn't felt like that, just caused me to examine my feelings about what I want my family to be like."

Changes she and her husband have made so far: still watching TV, but without cable. Placing equal value on time spent together at home as on activities outside the home, and a limit on electronic gadgets for the 12-year-old son, no matter how many his friends are getting.

Striking a balance

Parents are eager to learn more. A recent screening of the education documentary "Race to Nowhere" at the Waldorf School drew more than 60 parents. The film's premise: We are raising a generation of anxious automatons, setting parameters that pile on homework and pressure to succeed, teaching kids to memorize correct answers for tests but not to be curious or take any joy in learning.

Susan Lyon, who was at the screening, is raising an eighth-grader and a fifth-grader and works with the Little Sprouts class at the Waldorf School.

To her, simplifying is about "bringing back space and peace so kids can grow up resilient, knowing themselves and feeling connected to the people in their lives."

Lyon feels kids don't have enough time or space to just be and think. "I used to think my stance as a parent would be "the world is a wonderful, exciting place.' But instead I see it as overwhelmed with ideas and activities that rob kids of more than innocence."

Kids are still kids

Despite studies showing imaginative play is much more effective at developing speech and the important skill known as executive function -- the ability to control one's behavior and create self-discipline -- unstructured play (which until the 1960s was how most kids spent most of their time) has never been scarcer on the American family landscape.

Not so at Oak Hill, where the children often spend an hour play-acting games they make up themselves. The only electronic device in sight is a small TV monitor trained on the infant asleep upstairs. In the back yard, one corner is a thicket of brambles the kids call "the forest," in another a tepee made of vines, and two small gardens.

As for the household chores the kids clearly enjoy doing, Hibscher isn't trying to turn her charges into little Oliver Twists and Cinderellas. "It reinforces the imitative nature that children at this age have, and makes them feel like a useful part of a family."

Yet these kids showed signs of inhabiting the same world all kids do. As they bused their dishes, about half of the carrots remained uneaten. And one little girl proudly displayed a piece of paper on which she had drawn a detailed picture.

It was a computer keyboard, a sub for the real thing.

Kristin Tillotson • 612-673-7046