Keep Your Emotions In Check

By Matt Krumrie, Star Tribune Sales and Marketing

Last update: October 20, 2005 - 11:00 PM

Sometimes every day can feel like a Monday. Sometimes it's hard to just keep your emotions in check. Maybe you were passed over for a promotion. Maybe that can't-lose marketing campaign was turned down. Maybe that big sale fell through. Maybe the company plans to downsize. Whatever the reason, we all go through emotional ups and downs in both our professional and personal lives. How we handle those emotions is crucial.

Positive emotions in the workplace are typically welcomed, depending on the circumstances, says Jack O'Regan, chairman of the Minnesota Psychological Association's Psychologically Healthy Workplace Award program and dean of the School of Psychology at Argosy University, Twin Cities. Emotions such as anger and crying are typically not welcomed, but impossible for many of us to constrain, adds O'Regan.

"My strongest recommendation is to pause, pause, pause before releasing those emotions or, if the emotions are already released, to retreat, retreat, retreat," says O'Regan. "We all need time to collect our thoughts and sort through our emotions. We can damage working relationships and our careers by venting our emotions and satisfying our urge to express these hot emotions in the moment."

Jennifer Holt, Ph.D. (www.drjenniferholt.com), a licensed professional counselor and a career transformation consultant who assists clients with a wide variety of workplace-related issues, agrees. She works with clients who know they have a potentially emotional situation – such as a performance review or a meeting with a supervisor to discuss problems with co-workers – to help role-play results of those situations.

"Dealing with the potential outcomes beforehand can help channel any emotions – good or bad – that develop," says Holt.

O'Regan says it's important to share your emotions with people who you know are safe to vent with. Partners, family, close friends, and carefully selected co-workers are safe choices. He also says it's important to channel emotions into productive energy.

"Anger can fuel our energy into driving a task toward completion or doubling our work effort," he says.

Matt Krumrie is a freelance writer from Inver Grove Heights, MN, and has seven years of experience reporting on the employment industry. The first Sunday of each month this column will answer readers' questions. E-mail questions or subject ideas to askmatt@startribune.com.

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