Why You Need To Maintain Balance

By Robert Elsenpeter, Star Tribune Sales and Marketing

Last update: July 5, 2005 - 11:00 PM

Her instructions were simple: Take whatever you're given, and don't step off the small patch of carpeting. Dawn Staycoff thought the exercise was straightforward enough, until two dozen people had loaded her arms up with hard to handle tchotchkes.

Her arms weak and aching, Staycoff finally dropped it all.

The demonstration, presented by Tracy Knofla at an April International Association of Administrative Professionals (IAAP) meeting, was intended to teach a lesson: You can't maintain balance if you take on too much.

Do Less

Knofla asked Staycoff, a sales administrative assistant at MGI Pharma and co-chair of the IAAP's hospitality committee, the obvious questions: "Why didn't you ask for help?" and "Why didn't you just tell them 'no'?"

Staycoff's answer was similar to what many admins say each day when faced with mounting work.

"I didn't know I could," Staycoff remembers. "It was a big 'ah-ha' moment for me."

As a result of that exercise, Staycoff realized, in her own work it's OK to ask for help, put tasks off until later or even say "no."

"I want to be perceived as a team player," says Staycoff, "but the exercise did let me know that I could say 'no.'"

Staycoff had another realization – saying "no" from time to time doesn't damage you in the eyes of others.

"People don't perceive you differently if you say 'yes' all the time than if you say 'no' occasionally," she says.

Stemming From Within

Dr. Verna Cornelia Price, a consultant and motivational speaker, observes that the willingness to take on more and more tasks can be symptomatic of a deeper problem.

"On the surface it seems simple, but it's more complex," says Price. "We, as women, want to please so many people. We want to please the boss. We want to please our family. We want to please our colleagues. And, as a result, we over commit."

Price observes the problem stems from the admin's own feelings of inadequacy. To resolve the problem she suggests taking an unflinching look at one's self.

"You get to the place where you look at yourself and you see what you need to change," says Price.

Next, action must be taken to ameliorate these issues. The fix won't come all at once, but rather from individual steps. Price calls them "power steps."

"For women out of balance, that can take a year to accomplish," says Price. "Others might only take a month."

The problem might not be only in the individual's head, however. There may be people who are triggering these problems.

"Many people have negative people in their lives," says Price. "It's important to recognize those people and get rid of them."

If a negative person is someone who cannot be removed – like a spouse or supervisor, for example – it's necessary to manage how much time and energy you give that individual.

"Whatever technique you use, it's time to stop interacting with them," says Price.

Robert Elsenpeter is a freelance writer from Blaine.

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