Continuing a theme whereby Justin Bieber (Target Center) and the Twins (Target Field) will be competing for your downtown Minneapolis entertainment dollar tonight, we now ask a very simple question: IF the Twins decide (shrewdly) to use nothing but Bieber songs for their at bat music tonight, this is how we imagine the songs would line up. (And please be aware we had to look all these up. Promise). For the sake of argument, we will go with last night's lineup as a guess for tonight. All song comparisons are based on title only. If there are more appropriately haunting lyrics and/or beats that would be more apt, please notify via the comments.

1. Denard Span -- "One time." It's track one on Bieber's first release, My World (not to be confused with his second release, My World 2.0.) Seems like a natural lead-off track.

2. Orlando Hudson -- "Never Let You Go." O-Dog needs to stick somewhere and finish out his career. Too much bouncing around.

3. Joe Mauer -- "Where Are You now?" Tip of the cap to the frenzied fans who acquire a murderous rage whenever Mauer doesn't catch.

4. Justin Morneau -- "Down to Earth." Both of these guys are Canadian. Both are named Justin. And both are famous.

5. Michael Cuddyer -- "One Less Lonely Girl." Some of the ladies seem to like him.

6. Jason Kubel -- "Up." Because his fly ball percentage has gone up every year since 2007.

7. Jim Thome -- "Bigger." Guy really fills up a uniform. Just a prototypical old-school power hitter.

8. Delmon Young -- "Baby." Because anyone who rationalizes the Twins/Rays trade will always mention that Delmon is still only X years old (number changes annually).

9. Nick Punto -- "That Should Be Me." For the fans who think they could offer what Punto brings to the lineup for a far less expensive price tag.

Bonus: Tonight's starting pitcher, Nick Blackburn -- "Common Denominator." The Twins were 8-1 in his first nine starts during better times. They are 0-5 in his June starts, a big part of their swoon.

Older Post

Tuesday (The year of the ex-Twin) edition: Wha' Happened?

Newer Post

TFD: Clearance Clarence carries you into the darkness