As they say on the internet, you're doing it wrong:

Heidi Montag is no stranger to the spotlight. From opening up about plastic surgery to sharing her friend and relationship woes on The Hills, the reality starlet has been anything but shy when it comes to airing her drama.

Now, almost a year after the series finale of the show that made her a household name, Montag, 24, wants to take a different route to reality TV.

"From now on, I'm going to keep my life a little more private," she told People.

So it'll be a real reality show, where no one is particularly interested in anything she does, and she decides to stop appearing for the tapings, and finds a new calling in life that's far more satisfying than the eternal search for the approval of the fickle heart of fame? Doesn't seem so. The new show is called "Reality Food." As opposed to all those fictional dishes you've been trying to eat.

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